Like Real People do
by Alexandermylove
Summary: He went back to his book, quickly getting caught up in the story. He was so caught up that he didn't hear the voice that yelled: "Look out!" He didn't see the football coming straight toward his head. Malec and Heronstairs AU!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It is I, Alexandermylove, finally returning from unexpected hiatus. I didn't mean to not post anything here for like a month, it kinda just...happened. I got a block and I just couldn't produce anything of a decent length. But today when I asked for people to send me prompts, I was able to write this so we're back on track now (hopefully). **

**The prompt for this was: **

**malec au prompt: "i was trying to read in the park and your stray football knocked me unconscious" **

**I had a lot of fun with this, I changed up Magnus a bit but hopefully y'all still like it. **

**Ten points for anyone who can name which book the quote at the beginning comes from!**

* * *

_I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world._

Alec reread the passage once and then twice and then a third time.

He couldn't help but think that love like that sounded like an amazing feeling. Something he himself had not experienced, at least not truly. He vaguely remembers how when he was younger, he had believed that he was in love with his adopted brother Jace. He snorts when he thinks of all the wasted years now.

He went back to his book, quickly getting caught up in the story.

He was so caught up that he didn't hear the voice that yelled: "Look out!"

He didn't see the football coming straight toward his head.

* * *

Alec opened his eyes to discover that he was on his back.

He didn't remember deciding to sleep.

He didn't remember lying down.

He didn't remember having someone there with him, or putting his head in their lap, or giving them permission to run their fingers through his hair.

What the hell had happened?

He groaned before asking as much.

There was a quick intake of breath from above him and the fingers in his hair stilled.

"Oh! You're awake. Thank goodness."

The voice that spoke was unfamiliar but Alec had to admit that it was beautiful. Soft and smooth and a slight accent that he couldn't place.

Slowly, Alec sat up.

His head hurt and he might have felt a bit dizzy too but he didn't want to focus on that right now. He wanted to focus on figuring out what had happened.

He turned his head to look at the person whose lap he had just been in and froze.

The man that was currently sitting next to him was possibly- no scratch that out- was the most beautiful person that he had even seen in his life.

He had long, shiny black hair that was streaked at the tips with possibly every color of the rainbow, that extended beyond his shoulders. Alec assumed that it had once been held back by a scrunchie but most of it was now hanging loose around his face. His skin was smooth caramel with not a single blemish to be found. His almond eyes were a bright golden-green color that Alec had never seen before and were framed by black glasses. And his lips had a red tint to them as if he was wearing-lipstick?

Alec didn't know what to say.

It wasn't every day he woke up with his head in an extremely attractive guy's lap but he couldn't just sit there staring at him.

"Umm-hi." Alec started. He was aware of the fact that he sounded extremely awkward but he kept going. "Who are you?"

The man pushed his glasses further up his nose from where they had slipped down before answering, "Hi uh- I'm the guy that sorta, accidentally, hit you in the head with a football-"

Alec blinked and raised his eyebrows, "You did what?"

The man let out an amused sounding breath, almost a laugh but not quite there, "Yeah. My friend, Ragnor, somehow convinced me to come to the park and be on his stupid team even though he knows that I am horrible at all things sports related and I just- I don't know how it happened exactly, but one second I was holding the ball, and the next it was heading straight for you. Sorry about that by the way."

Alec ran a hand through his hair. So that was why he was feeling this way. Because he had been hit in the head.

"How long was I out?"

The man tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and Alec couldn't help but follow the path of his long, brown, fingers or imagine what it would be like to be able to touch the smooth strands himself.

"Only a few minutes." The man's voice brought him out of his head.

He mentally berated himself to pay attention and stop thinking of this man, that he didn't even know, in that way.

The man furrowed his eyebrows, stretched out his fingers to touch Alec's temple, and the blue eyed man shivered. Not from pain but from something else that he didn't want to put a word to.

"Does it hurt?"

Alec was quick to shake his head, "No. I'm fine."

The man still didn't look convinced so Alec continued on, "Really, I'm fine. Thank you for staying with me to make sure."

The man smiled, revealing bright white teeth and laughed once. A piece of an actual laugh that sounded like the beginning chords of a song. "It was the least I could do, trust me-" He pauses as if just realizing something, "In all of this I haven't managed to catch your name, darling."

Alec's heart skipped a beat at the endearment that had just come out of the man's mouth. He had never been called that before and the newness of it was enough to make him pause- pause for probably too long.

The man raised an eyebrow and Alec managed to stutter out, "Oh! Right, sorry, I'm-umm...I'm Alec."

He felt his cheeks growing warm at the fact that he was making an idiot out of himself in front of this attractive man. He fought the urge to smack his hand to his forehead and facepalm.

But the man seemed to be amused. He smiled again, "Alec," The pale skinned man had never heard his name spoken like that before. This man made it sound intimate and sensual and Alec wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about that.

"I'm Magnus." The man said and Alec couldn't help but think that the name fit: It was unique and beautiful just like him.

"I would say that it's nice to meet you," Magnus continued, "but I'm sure it would have been nicer if we had met under better conditions."

Alec smiled at that and the man-Magnus- had that look on his face again as if he was considering something. His eyes suddenly lit up and he asked, "Can I see your phone?"

Alec shot him a confused look but handed it over nonetheless.

He watched as Magnus quickly unlocked his phone-since Alec never saw the point in putting a passcode on it- went to the contacts app and typed in...his number?

Magnus handed the phone back to him with a smile, "Call me so we can meet up again under better conditions. There will be no football's involved, I promise." He crossed his heart with a long finger.

Alec's heart was beating loudly in his ears and he didn't know the right thing to say and holy crap, had it only been a few minutes ago that he had thought that it must be nice to experience love?

"I think- I think I'd like that." He finally managed to get out.

"Good." Magnus replied before standing up.

Alec hadn't been able to tell when they were sitting but his legs were long, so long they seemed to go on for miles. He had a feeling that Magnus was taller than him and usually that never happened.

"'Till next time." Was the man's farewell and with that, he was turning around and walking away.

When he had finally disappeared, Alec almost didn't want to believe it. Had that really happened or was he actually still unconscious and hallucinating?

Only one way to find out:

He looked down at his phone, unlocked it, and saw that the contacts app was still open.

He felt his eyes widen because there it was.

There was the man's name:

Magnus Bane.

It was real.

He was real.

Holy shit.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah so tell me what you thought! I might consider continuing this but only if I know that people will actually read it so comment! **

**-Alexandermylove **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Holy crap guys. When I posted the first chapter, I never could have guessed that it would get such a positive response. You guys are all so amazing and I love each and every one of you! **

**There's a line in here that's written by Cassie because I couldn't resist. See if you can spot it! **

* * *

The next day, he had to pick up his little brother from soccer practice.

He tried to act like nothing was wrong, like he hadn't been up half the night contemplating calling Magnus, and the other half dreaming about golden-green eyes, caramel skin, and midnight dark hair.

He smiled, ruffled his little brother's hair, turned on the boy's favorite radio channel, and tried to engage in small talk.

He actually believed that he had done a good job but when he finally brought his car to a stop in front of their parents house, he discovered just how wrong he was.

Max looked at him with narrowed gray eyes, "Okay-what's up with you? You're acting strange today."

Alec felt the blood drain out of his face.

He should have known better than to try to hide something from Max. The younger boy was just way too observant for his own good, always paying attention to the little things that other people would normally miss.

"What do you mean?" Alec tried to act like he had no idea what his brother was talking about.

"You have circles underneath your eyes as if you didn't sleep last night, your hand keeps twitching towards your phone but you never take it out, and you just paled when I called you out on acting strange." Max looked up at him expectantly with a raised eyebrow.

Alec didn't know whether he should laugh or cry at the fact that he was so transparent. He sighed and rested his forehead on the steering wheel for a moment before sitting up again.

His eyes strayed to the house outside of the car window rather than meeting his brother's, "Okay, fine you got me. I met someone yesterday in the park-and he gave me his number." He tried to meet Max's eyes for a second before settling on the boy's forehead instead, "I have circles underneath my eyes because I was up late trying to decide whether or not to call him."

Max looked at him for a moment before his face split into a smile and let out a relieved sounding breath, "Oh. That's it?" Alec felt heat start to rise up into his cheeks. "You had me worried that it was a real problem there but the answer for this is simple: you call him."

When it was put that way, it did sound simple. Why did it feel like anything but?

"But what if-what if-?" What if...what? He didn't know how to end the question.

Max gave him a look that made Alec feel as if _he _was the inexperienced 14 year old in the car.

"He gave you his number so _clearly_ he wants you to."

That made Alec pause. Max did have a point. If Magnus wasn't interested in Alec, he could have just left after apologizing and that would have been the end of it. Magnus wanted him to call. But why couldn't Alec work up the nerve?

"I'm taking relationship advice from my baby brother, I've hit an all time low." He tried to joke so that he didn't have to think about it anymore.

"Well you wouldn't have to if you stopped acting so stupid. See you later, Alec." Max said before motioning to get out of the car.

"Yeah, later-" Alec replied automatically. Before the boy could get out though he was saying,"Hey! Don't tell anyone about this, okay? Can this just stay between the two of us?"

Max mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key. "My lips are sealed."

* * *

Maybe Alec hadn't been clear enough.

Maybe Max had misheard him and mistakenly heard him say 'let's keep this between the _three_ of us' instead of 'the _two_ of us' because mere hours after Alec had dropped him off, he got a phone call from the one person that he didn't want to tell. At least not right now.

"Tell. Me. Everything." The voice demanded from the other side of the phone as soon as he picked it up.

"Uh-I don't know what you're talking about, Izzy-"

"Don't try to play dumb!" She practically screamed at him, "Max told me about how you met some guy in the park and he gave you his number. I want to know everything and I won't leave you alone until I do."

"Don't you have other things to worry about like _passing your classes_ instead of my love life?"

"So you're admitting to having a love life!"

Alec groaned. There was no way to win this. "There really isn't very much to tell, Iz."

"I don't care. Alec we can do this the easy way where you only have to tell me, or we can do this the hard way where I add Jace to this call and you can explain it to the both of us."

Alec paled.

He was no longer closeted, all of his siblings knew about the fact that he was gay so that wasn't what scared him. He just didn't want to deal with his basically nonexistent love life being scrutinized by all of his siblings in the course of just a few hours.

"Okay, okay, you win-" And he went on to tell her about what had happened the day before. About how he had been in the park, getting hit by a football and passing out, waking up in Magnus' lap, and how the man had put his number in Alec's phone before leaving.

When he finished his tale, Izzy let out a squeal. "It's like a movie! I call being best woman at your wedding!"

Alec started choking. When he was finally able to start breathing normally again he tried to speak, "Wedding? Iz, I know _nothing _about him."

"_Technicalities_, you guys are definitely meant to be together." His little sister insisted.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm hanging up now." He said exasperatedly.

"Wait!" She yelled before he could press the 'end' button.

"What?" He asked rather reluctantly. If she started talking about weddings again-

"Promise me you'll call him."

"Iz-"

"Promise me, Alec. You know I won't stop bugging you until you do." She tried to pass it off as if she was joking but there was an undertone to her voice that made it sound like she was worried about him. Worried that he was going to blow his only chance at 'true love' or whatever else movie fantasy was running through her mind.

"Fine." He finally said after a moment of silence because it was obviously easier to agree than to argue. "I promise."

"Thank you."

He could have sworn that she sounded relieved.

* * *

It was a week after their meeting in the park and Alec's hand was shaking.

He had spent the last forty five minutes working himself up to this. 'This' being having Magnus' contact information opened up and his thumb hovering over the blue phone symbol. 'This' being the farthest that he had ever gotten to actually calling Magnus.

The man had given Alec his number, he had told Alec to call him, so why was he so nervous?

Maybe it was because this sort of thing never happened to him, his younger siblings were way better at the whole 'getting people to like them' thing. They just had to open their mouths and people were all too willing to fall over themselves trying to keep their attention.

Maybe it was because Magnus was so attractive that it was almost unbelievable. Alec was lucky to have someone glance in his direction twice but Magnus was the kind of person that you never wanted to stop looking at. He couldn't get Magnus' _haireyesglassesskinlipshands _out of his head no matter what he was going.

He wanted to be in the other man's presence again, he wanted to hear his voice, but he just couldn't find the nerve to call him.

But then his head was suddenly filled with his siblings' voices. Max telling him not to be stupid and Izzy forcing him to make that promise.

And he kind of felt like an idiot for going through with this, and his heart was pounding so loud in his ears he couldn't hear anything else, but he tapped the icon and his phone started to call Magnus.

It rung once.

Twice.

Three times.

Half way through the fourth he was convinced that it was pointless, it would be better to hang up before it went to voice mail and manage to embarrass himself further.

Plus, he would still fulfilled both of his siblings wishes. Technically, he _had_ called, Magnus just hadn't-

"Hello?" A voice cut through his rapid thought process.

"Hi- is this Magnus?" He asked, but of course he knew that it was. Alec felt like he would recognize that smooth and melodic voice anywhere.

"The one and only. And who is the owner of this lovely voice?" Clearly, Magnus did not feel the same way about Alec's voice if he had forgotten it already.

"Er- it's me. I mean, Alec. Alec Lightwood. The person you kinda-"

"Hit in the head with a football?" Magnus cut him off quickly, "Yeah, I remember you. I was beginning to think that you would never call."

Heat rushed into his cheeks. "Oh, uh-sorry about that. I was just-" But before he could spit out some lame excuse, he was interrupted again. Not by Magnus this time but a different, unfamiliar voice coming from the other side of the phone.

"Maggie! I can't find my keys and I need to meet Jem in 20 minutes!"

It seemed that Magnus had moved the phone away from his ear because when he spoke again, his voice sounded farther away. "Did you look on the TV?" He asked.

"Yeah!" Replied the unfamiliar voice.

"Did you look under the couch?" Magnus tried again.

"Yes!"

He heard Magnus sigh, and when he spoke again his voice was closer, "Sorry about this, darling. Give me five minutes and I'll call you back-"

"Okay." Alec managed to get out before the sound of dial tone was ringing in his ear.

He tried not to dwell on the fact that he couldn't get out a single sentence without stuttering or just sounding like a plain fool.

Even if his mind wanted to go in that direction, Magnus was true to his word and he called five minutes later, cutting off his train of thought.

Alec wanted to say something that wasn't awkward, something that wouldn't make him sound stupid or like he didn't know what he was doing- even though it was true.

He scrambled for something, anything, and the word that his mouth ended up forming was:

"Maggie?"

He was just about to start kicking himself because there he went and did it again but then Magnus let out a sound that was half laugh, half groan, "An accursed nickname that I've been trying to shake for years." He could practically hear Magnus rolling his eyes.

And things suddenly felt...easier.

Because this small thing reminded him that Magnus was more than just some insanely hot guy who by some miracle seemed to have been interested in him, it reminded him that Magnus was a person with a silly nickname, that was bad at sports, and wore glasses that slid down his nose.

"It's...cute." He finished his sentence awkwardly.

Magnus didn't seem perturbed about his awkwardness though, "_You're_ cute." The man said dismissively as if it were a basic fact that everyone should know and Alec felt his cheeks warming again. "But moving on from my annoying roommate...to what to I owe the pleasure of this phone call?"

"Well-um- you did-uh- tell me to call you if I wanted to see you again-" And he was stuttering again. He fought the urge to slam his forehead against a wall.

"And you finally decided that you did after a week?"

"...Yes?"

Had Magnus already lost interest in the course of a week? Alec wouldn't necessarily be surprised. It was his siblings that were good at demanding attention, he on the other hand, not so much. Not that he really minded but he had hoped-hoped what exactly?

He felt his palms growing sweaty and his heart pounded painfully against his chest. Could he and his siblings have been wrong?

"I'm glad. I had begun to think that you had forgotten me." Magnus finally said and the answer was so unexpected that Alec almost dropped his phone.

The mere idea of someone forgetting about Magnus seemed implausible.

"What? No- no- I just- I- sorry about that."

He heard the sound of Magnus laughing and it was enough to make Alec's pounding heart skip a beat.

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. You can make it up to me-"

* * *

**A/N: And I'll end it there because I have a monster headache and I need sleep. **

**I hope you guys liked seeing Alec interact with his siblings and Magnus. **

**Don't forget to follow, favorite, and tell me what you thought in a comment! **

**-Alexandermylove **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Woah, I'm actually keeping a regular-ish posting schedule- this is practically unheard of. **

**Hopefully this chapter makes up for how the last one ended: **

* * *

It was two days after Alec had called Magnus and he was late.

He was all too aware of the time that was passing by as tried to calm himself down enough to go back to the cafe.

He had initially arrived early with plenty of time to spare, but before he could enter the cafe that Magnus had chosen for them to meet at, he was hit with a wave of anxiety. And since he was already anxious to begin with, this double whammy of emotion hit him just as hard as a pile of bricks would have.

Instead of entering the building, he had walked to the park that was just a block away and then spent the last however many minutes pacing, and trying to clear his head enough to build up some semblance of calm. Thinking about meeting Magnus, and the fact that he was late, and not knowing how Magnus would react to him being late left him feeling like he needed to vomit. He was just about to take out his phone to text Magnus and tell him that maybe it would be best if they just canceled but before he could, he was cut off by a voice that almost made him jump out of his skin.

"Hi." It was a voice he had only heard a handful of times but he recognized it immediately.

"Oh-um-hi-" He turned around to face the person who had spoken.

Magnus smiled down at him for a moment before speaking again, "Okay, so I've watched you make twenty two full rotations and I don't know whether I should be amused or concerned. So please enlighten me."

Crap.

Magnus had seen him having a meltdown in the park? It is was bad enough that he was late but now the other man probably thought he was crazy too.

"Oh-uh- Don't be concerned."

Magnus raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Yeah." He breathed out.

Magnus looked at him for a moment longer before smiling again. " Alright, now that we got that cleared up, can we go get coffee now?"

"Yeah-" Alec responded because now that Magnus was here in front of him, he had no reason or excuse to cancel. And now that the man was here in front of him- he didn't want to.

Alec's memory had not served him justice. He didn't think it would have been possible, but Magnus was even more beautiful than he remembered.

His hair was left loose and neatly tucked behind his ears, he must have chosen to forgo his glasses and switch to contacts because his eyes were fully exposed and sparking in the sun. And lastly, Alec had seen his sister put it on enough that he was positive that the man was definitely wearing makeup. Alec could see blush creeping onto his cheeks, a pale eye shadow on his eyelids and very bright lipstick on his lips.

He was so beautiful and standing this close to him, Alec couldn't help but feel that he himself just-

Wasn't.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later and Magnus was looking over at him with disappointment.

"I offer to buy you whatever coffee you want and you choose to get black?"

Alec shrugged and looked down at the table between them. "I like it."

"But why?"

Alec looked back up and found himself smiling at the thinly veiled look of disgust that the other man was shooting towards his cup of coffee.

"I don't know. I guess I like my coffee tasting the way it's supposed to. It no longer does once you add all of that random crap to it."

He nodded toward the concoction in Magnus' brown hand that was more milk, sugar, and caramel than actual coffee.

Magnus looked scandalized and Alec's heart felt like it was going to stop beating.

What if he had he somehow managed to offend the other man by judging his coffee preferences?

But then Magnus just gave him one of his easy smiles, laughed once, and started to defend his drink which he claimed might not fully be coffee but at least 'didn't taste like death'.

And they bantered for a bit. It was so easy that if not for the fact that Magnus was an insanely attractive guy that was somehow interested in him, it was just like arguing with Jace or Max.

When the conversation finally died down, Magnus brought up a new topic: "Tell me about yourself."

Alec's mind went completely blank.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything." Magnus replied simply.

Alec took another sip of his coffee to buy more time. "That's a bit broad."

There was another one of those smiles that made Alec's heart start stuttering in his chest. "Fine. Then let's start small. You're already heard my wretched nickname," He rolled his eyes mid sentence,"So how about you? Do you have one?"

This question was easy at least.

"It's Alec-" He replied simply before sipping his coffee again.

The other man's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and gestured for Alec to continue speaking.

"My full name is Alexander."

Magnus let out a sound that almost sounded like a purr before repeating back his full name. Usually Alec hated the sound of his full name passing through anyone's lips, even his own, but the way Magnus said it- slow and intimately- made heat flood into his cheeks.

He attempted to raise an eyebrow but Magnus didn't acknowledge it.

The other man leaned forward slightly, "Tell me more-"

And they were going back and forth again, sharing small random tidbits: Alec mostly spoke about his siblings because it was easier, and they were probably more interesting to hear about than he was too. Which proceeded in Magnus telling him about his two annoying roommates that were basically like brothers to him. The one that had interrupted their phone call was Will who Magnus claimed could misplace his own head if it wasn't attached to his body. And the other was Ragnor- who was, direct quote here: 'the grumpiest person in the history of grumpiness'.

Talking to Magnus was fun, it was exciting, it was exhilarating. It awakened butterflies in his stomach and set them fluttering in a way he hadn't felt in years.

But it was also scary.

Alec liked him.

Liked him a lot.

And liking led to loving, and if he fell in love with Magnus, he knew things would never be the same.

He'd probably just end up with a broken heart and he didn't think he would be able to handle that kind of pain.

But for right now, it was fun, and that was all that really mattered.

Right?

* * *

The whole hour that they were are the cafe, neither of them made a move to touch the other.

Alec didn't mind much. Just looking at Magnus was enough to overwhelm him, he didn't know how he would react if the other man made a move to hold his hand or even attempt to kiss him. He felt slightly lightheaded just thinking about how amazing Magnus' lips would feel pressed against his own.

But then he was quite literally snapped out of his daze by Magnus snapping his fingers in front of his face.

"Hello-earth to Alec?"

"Huh?" He replied stupidly, turning his head to focus on the real, living, breathing Magnus that was right next to him.

The man had insisted on walking him back to his apartment and Alec would have not been able to say no even if he wanted to.

"What's happening in that pretty little head of yours?" Magnus asked.

"Oh-um-nothing." He insisted. Magnus' expression told him that the other man did not believe him, but thankfully he dropped the subject.

They reached Alec's apartment building two minutes later and as Alec searched in his wallet for his keys, Magnus spoke, "I had fun today."

His wallet almost slipped out of his grip and his eyes widened."Really?"

Magnus tilted his head to the side. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"It's just that-um I uh, have no idea what I'm doing and you're, um, glamorous." Alec felt his eyes growing impossibly wider. He had not meant to say any of that-especially the last bit. Obviously, it was true but that was not something that one just casually spewed out after a first date. He wanted to run into his apartment and lock the door behind him so that he didn't have to see Magnus' reaction.

But instead of looking down at Alec as if he had suddenly grown three heads, Magnus just grinned and kept going as if it was something that he heard every day.

It probably was.

"Thank you. You're not so bad yourself. I'd like to see you again."

"Really?" Alec repeated because he couldn't think of anything else to say. He had just assumed that after this, Magnus would move on to someone else that was better and more interesting than he was.

Magnus laughed. "Yes, really. I'll text you, okay?"

Alec nodded wordlessly.

It made no sense for this man that he had just met to be able to turn his brain into mush and leave him a blushing, stuttering mess.

It made no sense whatsoever but he was already in too deep to want to stop.

So he breathed out, "Okay."

* * *

**A/N: So a lot of you guys seemed excited about the prospect of Heronstairs being in this story after I briefly mentioned it in the last chapter. **

**I'm very literally just writing this as I go, I have no plans whatsoever, so if you guys want this to be a Malec _and_ Heronstairs story just ask, and I will try to make sure you guys receive it. **

**Follows, favorites, and reviews are always great motivation and always appreciated! **

**-Alexandermylove**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Alright some of you guys asked for Heronstairs and here it is.**

**Keep in mind that it has been _years _since I read TID so I might write Will and Jem a bit ooc. **

**Hopefully you still like it: **

* * *

Will tried not to panic but he was kind of panicking.

He had been late for so many of their dates in the past that he had lost track of the number, but this time- this time he had _promised _his boyfriend that he would not be late. Crossed his heart and sweared to die-the whole shebang.

But if he didn't find his keys, he wouldn't be able to keep that promise.

So from his position on the floor he yelled out, "Maggie!" Because Ragnor was no help whatsoever when it came to these things, "I can't find my keys and I need to meet Jem in 20 minutes!"

"Did you look on the tv?" Magnus' voice came yelling back from his bedroom.

"Yeah!" He replied quickly, getting up from the floor and looking once more just in case he had missed it the first time.

"Did you look under the couch?" Magnus made another suggestion.

"Yes!"

That was the place he had just looked!

Will found himself wishing that he could be some kind of magic creature that could just snap his fingers and make the keys appear in his hands. Or better yet, just be able to make a portal that could teleport him to Jem's apartment.

Magnus walked into the living room with a vaguely annoyed look on his face.

He pushed his glasses up his nose before sighing and saying, "You know that extremely attractive guy that I managed to hit in the head with a football after you guys convinced me to play with you? Well, he's _finally _called me and you're mucking up my chances with him by being an idiot."

This would usually be the point where Will replied with something sarcastic or flippant but he was cut off when the realization of what his roommate had just said sunk in. "Wait- that guy finally called you?"

Magnus nodded once.

"Shit," Will continued, "Sorry, but I promised Jem that I actually wouldn't be late this time and I don't want to make him angry by breaking that promise."

Magnus rolled his eyes. "Jem couldn't be angry with you even if he wanted to but _fine_-"

His friend trailed off before turning around and walking into Will's bedroom. He was in there for all of thirty seconds before walking back out again, Will's key ring hanging off of one of his long fingers.

Will felt his eyes widen. He would never be able to understand how Magnus was able to do that. Instantly find whatever it was that Will had managed to misplace whether it be his keys, or a shirt, or even that one time when he had placed the Chairman on top of the fridge. "Where were they this time?"

Magnus gave him a pointed look. "On your bedside table."

Now Will's eyebrows furrowed. Hadn't he looked there? Or had he just walked right past it and gone straight to the dresser and the closet?

His backtracking was cut off by Magnus throwing his keys at him. "Now go before you're late. _Again_."

"Right." He said, moving toward the front of their apartment. "Thanks!" He called over his shoulder before closing the door between them.

* * *

Will remembered the first time he had seen Jem.

It had been eight months ago, after a long day of work. It had been an unusually stressful day at the office so he had completely forgotten about the fact that Magnus had told him he was having someone over.

So when he opened the door and was greeted by the sound of violin music he was more prepared to snap and lash out in annoyance rather than hand out compliments.

"Magnus, I am not in the mood for your shi-oh-" He cut himself off suddenly when he saw that the person playing was not his roommate, but instead the extremely attractive man that was currently on their couch.

The extremely attractive man who was no longer playing but instead looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

Will remembered thinking that the man next to Magnus was the most beautiful person that he had ever seen.

And that was saying something considering he had met plenty and even lived with a couple of pretty beautiful people.

This man had pale skin, delicate features, long graceful limbs, and fingers that looked like they were made specifically for creating art in some way shape or form. But what really caught Will's attention was his hair, which was a bright, shining silvery color that one could never achieve by simply dying it.

When Will took a closer look at the man's eyes, he noticed that they were the same beautiful, mesmerizing, silver that he never wanted to stop looking at.

But of course the moment was broken by Magnus loudly cleared his throat. Will's eyes went over to the golden-green ones of his roommate. He realized that he had just been standing there, staring like some kind of creep or something.

"Oh-um-hey Maggie." The man's nose crinkled in distaste at Will's use of his nickname. When they were teenagers growing up in London, Magnus used to practically beg Will to stop using it because 'it was childish' or 'immature' but eventually, he had just given up- not that he hated it any less now than he had all those years ago.

The silver haired man shot him an amused look but before he could speak, Magnus cut in, "Anyway-Will, this is Jem and Jem, this is my annoying roommate Will."

Prior to Magnus speaking, he had been frozen but the sound of his roommate's voice was enough to snap him out of whatever state he had been in and he was able to reply:

"I prefer to be known as the 'devilishly handsome' roommate but I suppose 'annoying' works too." Will grinned down at the man who responded with a smirk that did funny things to his heart.

The man set down his violin, ran a hand through his hair, and got up, offering his hand out to Will.

"It's nice to meet you 'devilishly handsome yet annoying' roommate, Will." He had a voice that Will never wanted to stop listening to. Soft and flowing and as lovely as the music that he had been able to create with his violin.

Will took his hand and it was warm and soft in his own. "It's nice to meet you too-Jem?" That was a rather odd name. Perhaps he hadn't heard Magnus correctly.

The man nodded, "It's short for James, but no one really calls me that except for my parents."

And Jem-James- was smiling and Will was smiling and he was so overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of the man currently standing in front of him. But then Jem was letting go and Magnus was saying something that he couldn't hear over the sound of his heart.

What?" Will asked his roommate stupidly.

"I said that you're interrupting our practice time so if you could kindly make yourself scarce-" Magnus was currently trying to hide his amused look but Will noticed the curve to his lips and the way his eyes shone.

Will would have plenty of time to grill Magnus for not introducing him to his attractive friend at an earlier time, later, but in that moment he had simply said, "Yeah. Sure. Whatever."

With one last look into Jem's magnificent eyes, he went into his room and closed the door behind him.

Instead of going into his bed, he had sunk to the floor and pressed his ear up against the wall.

Thinking back, he felt a bit foolish, but in that moment he had been desperate to hear the sound of Jem's voice. He hadn't even been able to make out the individual words but it was enough for him.

Magnus and Jem eventually stopped talking and resumed their practice.

That night Will had fallen asleep on the floor to the sound of twin violins playing together in harmony and his dreams were filled with the color silver.

* * *

In the present, Will rushed up the staircase, taking them two, sometimes three at a time. But of course, by the time he reached the landing, his boyfriend was already there- leaning against the door frame of his apartment, arms crossed over his chest, and a slight smirk playing on the corner of his lips.

"You're late." Jem said in his voice that still managed to make Will's heart do back flips in his chest.

"No I'm not, I'm-" He looked down at his watch to see that it was 7:01. Exactly one minute late. "Fuck. Okay, I'm late. Sorry, love."

Jem rolled his eyes and his smirk widened, "Mm-hmm." He pushed off of the door frame and started walking toward Will.

He was pretty sure that even though he was late _again, _he would at least be granted a small kiss from the other man, but he was proven wrong when his boyfriend proceeded to walk straight past him and started down the stairs.

He was about four or five down when he looked over his shoulder at Will. "You ready to go or do you want to stand there staring at me some more?"

Will grinned down at his boyfriend before saying, "I think you're forgetting something."

Jem raised an eyebrow, quickly catching on, and started patting his pockets as if he really believed him, "Hmm-phone... keys...wallet...what else is there?"

His boyfriend climbed back up three of the stairs so that they could more-or-less be at eye level. His eyes were shining and amused as they met Will's blue ones.

Will raised his hands so that they could frame Jem's face, he ran his thumbs over the sharp cheekbones once before leaning forward and pressing their lips together.

It was meant to just be a simple peck, but like every other time his lips had touched Jem's, he couldn't stop there. He always needed more and Jem was always more than willing to give it to him.

By the time they were able to break away, they were both panting and struggling to catch their breath.

They would probably be late for the movie they were going to see but Will didn't care.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you think of their first meeting? Definetly not as odd as Alec and Magnus' but hopefully you still enjoyed it. **

**Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I _love _hearing from you guys and it keeps me inspired when it comes to writing! **

**-Alexandermylove **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Alright I wanted to wait until today to post this chapter because today is my birthday. I hope y'all like it!**

* * *

A week after they had met up for coffee, Alec dropped the book he was reading in favor of practically diving off his couch to pick up his ringing phone.

Magnus had stayed true to his word when he said that he would text Alec.

They had texted every day and the other man was just as flirty- if not more- in text than in real life. Almost every single text that the other man sent made Alec smile, whether it was because Magnus had a tendency to use way too many emojis, because he seemed to have an unlimited arsenal of reaction gifs, or maybe it was just because he was so funny.

Alec felt like he would never get bored of texting Magnus but he kept his urge to do so at all times under control in fear of annoying the other man.

This would be the first time Magnus had called him since they had met and Alec's heart skipped a beat at the prospect of hearing his voice again.

But when he looked down at his phone screen and saw the contact name flashing up at him, he took a deep breath to try to mentally prepare himself for the conversation that was about to happen.

He tapped the screen to pick up the call. "Hello?"

"Alec!" A familiar voice came from the other side of the phone, "Why am I only just now hearing about you having a boyfriend?"

Alec groaned into the phone, "I'm going to kill Max."

"Wait_-Max_? Max knows about this? How the hell did a 14 year old hear about you having a boyfriend before I did?" Jace sounded scandalized and maybe even a little bit hurt.

Alec normally would have felt bad but since none of the accusations were true he just felt exasperated. "Jace, calm down. You didn't hear about me having a boyfriend because I don't have one. Who even told you that anyway?"

"Izzy." Jace answered automatically.

"Of course." Alec pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't you three have more important things to do than gossip about me?"

"Probably- but stop trying to change the subject! I want to hear more about your secret relationship."

"I'm not in a secret relationship!"

"Then how do you explain the guy that you met in the park?"

He didn't know how to explain what Magnus was in relation to him.

"I've known him for barely two weeks, Jace-" He tried to explain.

"But you've gone out on dates?"

_One_ date.

"Yeah…"

"Then you are in a relationship!" He almost banged his head against his coffee table. How had Max turned out to be the most mature of his siblings?

"No, I'm not. We haven't even-" Alec started but cut himself off when he realized what he was about to say.

"Haven't even what?" Jace asked, instantly catching his slip up and pouncing on it instead of letting it go.

"Nothing." Alec said, responding way too fast.

"Haven't even _what, _Alec?"

The man considered telling his little brother but he also considered hanging up and changing his phone number.

Just the thought of talking to Jace about his 'relationship drama' was so embarrassing that heat started to creep up his cheeks so option 2 was looking pretty good in that moment.

Before he could carry it out, his phone buzzed once alerting him that he was getting a call. He looked at the screen, seeing that this time it actually _was _Magnus.

"I'm not talking about this with you, Jace. I'm hanging up now." He announced suddenly.

He heard his little brother yelling: "This isn't over!" before he switched calls.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Hey!" Magnus' voice rang through the phone, clear and beautiful and making Alec's heart rate pick up once again.

"Hi-" He repeated because he couldn't think of anything else to say. He tried to switch his phone to his other hand as he racked his empty brain for something- _anything- _other than another greeting but halfway through the action his phone slipped from his grip and fell onto the floor.

As he got onto his knees to look for his phone he found himself cursing every deity there was for making him so freaking pathetic and absolutely hopeless when it came to anything having to even remotely deal with relationships or romance.

When he finally found it and brought it up to his ear he heard Magnus say, "Is everything okay on your end, darling?"

"Y-yeah. Sorry. I'm just really bad at this."

"Bad at what?"

"Talking to people."

"You're not _that _bad-" Magnus tried to assure him but Alec was quick to cut him off.

"I sound like an idiot."

"'Idiot' isn't the word I'd use, 'adorable' or 'cute' fit so much better."

Alec couldn't remember the last time he had been called 'cute' or 'adorable'- maybe he never had actually. But hearing the way the words flowed out of Magnus' mouth made his face flush with heat.

"Are you blushing? You're totally blushing!" Magnus' voice sounded very amused as he called Alec out and the man felt even more blood flood into his face.

"No-" He tried to deny it but his voice came out sounding pretty much the same way it had when he was talking to Jace.

He heard the sound of Magnus laughing. "Don't even try to deny it, sweetheart."

Alec simply sat there, on the floor, waiting for his laughter to finish.

Magnus eventually continued, "But anyway, I didn't call to embarrass you- I called to ask you out again."

Alec's heart skipped a beat. "Really?"

Magnus laughed again, "You need to stop sounding so surprised, love. I've told you that I like you haven't I?"

Alec nearly dropped his phone again.

"No." When he spoke it sounded like he was choking so he cleared his throat and tried again, "No, you haven't."

"Well, now I have. I like you and I want to take you to the movies tomorrow night so what do you say?"

"Uh-umm-yeah. That sounds fun?" It came out more like an awkward question rather than an affirmation but Magnus didn't seem deterred.

"Excellent." The other man replied.

* * *

The movie that Magnus had picked was _Cinderella_.

It had come out last month but apparently he hadn't been able to see it because one of his roommates refused to go with him, and the other had went with his boyfriend.

Alec himself had already seen it too but he wasn't going to tell Magnus that- not after the other man seemed so excited to finally have someone to go with.

It was probably for the best though because halfway through Cinderella's fairy god mother showing up and getting her ready to go to the ball, Magnus reached over and placed his hand on top of Alec's which had been on the arm rest.

The second their skin touched, the songs of the movie faded until they were just background noise and he couldn't hear anything other than the drumbeat of his heart pounding in his chest.

He hoped that Magnus couldn't tell that his hand was shaking as he slowly turned it so that it was palm up.

The other man simply squeezed Alec's fingers slightly but it caused so much blood and heat rush into his head that Alec thought he was going to pass out. In his peripheral vision he saw Magnus turn toward him but he didn't dare look back lest Magnus be able to see how affected he was by such a small act.

It continued on like that for the rest of the movie. Alec would more or less find a way to calm himself down but then Magnus would squeeze their fingers together or run his thumb along the side of his hand and he would be lost again.

When the movie finally ended he assumed that Magnus would just let go, but he didn't. He simply stood up and dragged Alec along with him as he moved through the row and out of the theater.

He attempted to look up but when he met the beautiful golden-green color of Magnus' eyes and found the other man smirking back down at him Alec had to look away again.

"Um-uh- what did you think of the movie?" Alec asked awkwardly, eyes looking around and settling on anything that wasn't the man that was currently holding his hand.

Thankfully Magnus didn't seem to be affected by the awkwardness and he began to gush about just how amazing he thought it was.

The other man led him outside and as they stood on the curb waiting for a taxi, Alec's mind drifted off to what he had almost admitted to Jace:

The fact that he and Magnus had yet to kiss.

Alec tried not to think too much about it but the more he attempted to avoid it, the more the thought crept into his subconscious.

As the days passed, it got harder and harder to stop himself from imagining what it would feel like to have Magnus' lips pressed against his own. To feel the warm skin of his chest under his hands. To have Magnus' long fingered hands running down his face.

But perhaps he was reading too much into this?

Perhaps when Magnus said 'I like you' he only meant it in a platonic way?

But then his thoughts were cut off abruptly by Magnus kissing him.

Just not on the lips.

He was bringing their joined hands up to his lips and kissing Alec's pale skin.

They were warm and soft just like Alec had imagined and made him feel as if he couldn't get enough air into his lungs.

Surely this couldn't just be a friendship?

Surely the way those green eyes looked as Magnus brought their hands back down again or the way he smiled softly had to mean _something? _

But Alec never got to find out the answer because a taxi had finally shown up and Magnus was letting go of his hand, leaving Alec feeling strangely cold in its wake.

Alec had no choice but to get into taxi. With one last promise of 'I'll call you later' the door was closing and the vehicle was driving away.

Alec rested his forehead against the headrest of the seat in front of him and let out a long sigh.

_He was hopeless at this. _

* * *

**Really long A/N: **

**1) I'm trying to improve my dialogue writing which is why there is so much in this chapter but hopefully y'all didn't find it too horrible**

**2) This story takes place in April which is why it says Cinderella came out 'last month' **

**3) Q****ueeraleciscanon was right when they guessed that the quote in the first chapter comes from 'The Song of Achilles' (It's one of my-and Alec's- favorites so you should check it out) **

**4) I'm really happy you guys liked the Heronstairs chapter! There will definitely be more of them in the future. **

**5) Make sure to follow, favorite, and review! I love hearing from you guys! (plus *cough* it would be a totally awesome birthday present if I managed to get 10 reviews on this chapter *cough* just saying) **

**-Alexandermylove **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys! **

**Sorry that it's been like 2 weeks since I've posted! **

**Queue the excuses:**

**-Slight case of writer's block**

**-High school is hard **

**-I am sick as fuckk **

**This chapter is written from Magnus' pov! **

**Hope you like it: **

* * *

Magnus took a deep breath and started to play.

The music came out slow and soft and calming and it was exactly what he needed in that moment.

He gradually increased in tempo until the notes became rushed and wild as if they couldn't wait to be out in the open air and filling up the world. He reached a point where nothing could touch him, where nothing about the past, present, or future mattered. The only thing that existed was him and the music he was able to create.

And he was interrupted by someone knocking on his bedroom door.

He broke off suddenly, breath coming out fast, and heart stuttering in his chest. He lowered his violin and looked over at his doorway to find Jem, leaning up against his door frame with an amused smirk playing on the corner of his lips.

When their eyes met, Jem's smirk widened and he said, "That was a lovely composition. What inspired it?"

Magnus ran a hand through his long black hair and tucked it behind his ears.

He didn't really want to admit that every single note had been the outcome of multiple nights, staying up, thinking about midnight dark hair and brilliant azure eyes.

He didn't want to admit that every movement his fingers made on the strings where meant to fill up the emptiness that was left after the absence of a certain deep, soft spoken voice.

He didn't want to admit that every second spent playing was an attempt to mimic a truly beautiful laugh that sounded prettier than anything he had ever been able to create.

He didn't want to admit to any of it.

Jem raised an eyebrow, "Or perhaps the right question to ask would be '_who'_?"

But it was clearly already too late.

"Uh-just some guy that I've been seeing." Magnus tried to act as casually as possible.

Jem glided into the room and sat down next to Magnus on his bed.

The other man's movements were always so graceful and intentional as if they had been choreographed.

Jem would never accidentally hit someone in the head with a football.

His friend raised a silver eyebrow, "Just _some guy_? Is this the same guy you told me about a couple weeks ago?"

And of course Jem remembered- Ragnor had seemed to forget almost immediately after Magnus had spoken to him- but it wouldn't surprise him if Jem remembered everything Magnus had ever said to him.

"Yeah-" He admitted, somewhat reluctantly.

"Wow, Magnus. I think this is the most smitten I have ever seen you."

Smitten wasn't even close to describing what Magnus felt about Alec.

It had been nearly a month since they had met in the park and with every passing day, he felt himself falling a little bit more.

It didn't help that Alec was not only extraordinarily beautiful, but also one of the most amazing people that Magnus had ever met in his entire life. He was sweet and kind and honest, there wasn't a single lie to be found in his face and every word that came out of his mouth was straightforward. When he spoke of his siblings, his voice was always full of love and loyalty and devotion, and made it Magnus hope that one day Alec would talk about _him_ the same way.

"I know-he's just-um-" He struggled to find the right word to describe Alec.

Special?

Different?

_Perfect_?

Jem seemed to understand it though. He gave Magnus another kind and knowing smile. "I get it."

Before Magnus could respond, they were interrupted by the sound of loud and obnoxious coughing coming from his doorway.

They both turned to find Will standing there.

"Are you still bitching and moaning about that guy that you met in the park?" His roommate asked, voice filled with mirth.

Jem rose from Magnus' bed and walked over to his boyfriend, "Be nice, William." He admonished lightly.

As he got closer, Will held out his hand and Jem immediately moved to intertwine their fingers together. "Why should I when laughing at his pain is so much more fun?"

Will and Ragnor, whenever he decided that Magnus was worth his time, took every opportunity to mock him for so obviously pining over Alec.

He was planning on seeking vengeance for them being the lousiest best friends in the universe as soon as he actually figured out whatever it was that was going on between him and Alec.

Jem sighed but cast Magnus a look that said if Magnus wanted to draft him for his plan of vengeance, he would be definitely want in on it.

"Let's go, Will." He said while pulling on his boyfriend's hand and dragging him out of the room. "Good luck, Magnus!" He called out before walking back through his door and pulling it closed behind them.

And his friend had wished him luck because he was meeting up with Alec today.

Not just meeting up either:

The boy was coming to the apartment.

* * *

A couple hours later a buzzing sound filled his room.

Magnus shot up from his bed-perhaps a bit too quickly but he would never admit to that- and walked over to the intercom in the living room.

"Who is it?" He asked, knowing that it could only be one person.

"Er," A familiar voice came from the speaker system. "It's me. I mean, Alec. Alec Lightwood?"

Magnus smiled as he pressed the button that would unlock the door. The man already sounded so flustered and Magnus found himself wishing that he could see the blush that would surely be gracing his pale cheeks.

Magnus went to stand in the entryway.

About a minute later, Magnus was able to see him. His hair was just as messy as usual, and the sweater that he had on was actually hideous, but Magnus felt his heart beat painfully in his chest all the same.

Alec smiled up at him and held up his phone, "Hey-you ready for this?"

Magnus smirked back before stepping away from the door, "Of course. After you."

When they had texted yesterday, Alec had brought up one of his favorite bands in passing and when Magnus revealed that he had never heard of them, the younger man demanded that he listen to them immediately.

So of course, Magnus had capitalized on the opportunity and told him that they should listen to the music together in his apartment.

Magnus showed him how to hook up his phone to the stereo system and suddenly the living room was filled with the sounds of alternative rock.

As they sat down on the floor together, Alec looked tentative and nervous as if Magnus was going to condemn him for his music taste.

It was vastly different from what Magnus usually listened to and what he played on his violin but he found himself liking it.

When he told the other man as much, Alec's whole face lit up like the light of the sun and Magnus found himself thinking that he would be willing to say anything to be able to see that smile every second of every day.

* * *

They just sat on the floor, sometimes looking at each other, sometimes closing their eyes, sometimes speaking, sometimes just listening to the music.

And it was amazing.

Being around Alec was as easy as breathing. He didn't have to pretend to be something that he wasn't and even if he wanted to, one look at Alec's open and trusting face would stop him in his tracks.

Magnus had his eyes closed and was listening to the lead singer's crooning voice when he heard a sound coming from his side.

He opened his eyes and looked over at Alec. "Did you say something, love?"

Alec flushed and he bit down on his lip as if he was contemplating whether or not to speak.

Magnus sat up straighter and raised an eyebrow. Now he really wanted to know.

"You-um-uh-y-you like me right?" The other man finally got out.

Magnus' eyebrows furrowed for a second. Where was Alec going with this?

He nodded anyway, "Yes, of course."

He was starting to think he more than liked Alec- not that he would admit to that out loud.

"And do you-uh-find-me-attractive?"

He nodded again and tried to meet the boy's eyes but the blue orbs were focused on a spot just beyond his ear, "Very much so."

Alec took a couple deep breaths as if to steady himself before continuing, "Then why haven't you- Why have you not- _Whyhaven'tyoutriedtokissme?"_

The younger man's face turned an even darker shade of red and his face looked stricken as if he couldn't believe the words that had come out of his mouth.

Magnus felt like his heart had stopped beating.

Alec had thought about kissing him?

Magnus shook his head slightly to clear it and tried to play it off as if he wasn't as flustered and excited as he actually was.

"Well-every time I so much as touch your arm, you get this look on your face as if you're about to pass out and I honestly have no idea how I would react to that so I figured that I should just-" Babbling probably wasn't the best 'playing it cool' strategy but he did not have time to mentally berate himself because he was cut off by lips pressing against his own.

Alec's lips were warm and soft and finally being able to kiss them was a million times better than Magnus had imagined in his head.

It was short and simple but it was everything.

The blue eyed boy pulled back, his eyes scanning Magnus' face before finally meeting the golden green eyes of the older man.

Magnus smiled at him and finished the sentence that he had started before. "Wait."

Alec's raised an eyebrow, "For what?"

"I figured that I should just wait for you to kiss me. But since that is out of the way now-"

He trailed off as he reached out to run his knuckles over Alec's cheekbone.

He framed the younger man's face with his hands and pulled him back in for another kiss.

And another.

And another.

And another.

He never wanted to stop and it seemed like Alec felt the same way too.

* * *

**A/N: Alright hopefully this makes up for the fact that I haven't posted in so long. **

**Thank you guys so much for all of the lovely comments! You are all the best! I love each and every one of you! **

**Please continue to leave comments/follow/favorite this story because it keeps me going! **

**-Alexandermylove **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: You know all of the excuses that I provided last time? Yeah, same thing goes for this week too. **

**Plus the fact that my mental health took a sudden down turn and it was really messing with my writing ability but I'm starting to feel better now and hopefully y'all like this chapter: **

* * *

Alec ran his fingers along his bottom lip. He couldn't hold back his smile as he thought back to what had happened yesterday:

He had kissed Magnus.

Magnus had kissed him back.

It was everything and nothing at all like what he had spent so many nights thinking about. It felt like finally seeing light after spending his whole life in the darkness. Like being thrown into a volcano and melting but enjoying every second of it.

He wasn't exactly sure how long they had sat there on the floor, cool hands running along heated skin, tongues chasing into each other's mouths, when they were suddenly interrupted by a loud groaning noise and a voice yelling out:

"Magnus! Remember the Tessa thing!"

Alec practically jumped out of his skin at the sound of the voice- not sure whether he should have felt more embarrassed because someone had walked in on them making out or confused about the subject of the conversation that Magnus was engaged in.

With heated cheeks Alec looked up at the person that Magnus was currently bantering with.

He wasn't sure what he had been expecting but it definitely wasn't a man that looked so much like...him.

There were differences sure, his skin had more coloring to it than Alec's almost sickly looking pale, his blue eyes were a darker shade, his hair was curlier, and he spoke with a heavy English accent, but one couldn't deny the similarities either.

The man was halfway through a sentence when he suddenly cut off and looked over to meet Alec's eyes.

Under the indigo gaze, Alec couldn't help but feel like he was an interloper, like he didn't deserve to bear witness to this moment between two friends. He had to force himself to keep eye contact and not look at the floor or the door just beyond the man's ear.

After seeming to give Alec a once over, the man smiled brightly at him. "Hi, I'm Will- Magnus' roommate. You're Alec right?"

He felt his eyes widen at the man- Will- addressing him by his name. Alec definitely had not given it to him so how did he know it?

Alec cleared his throat, "Uh-yeah."

Will's smile just seemed to grow. "It's nice to finally see you face to face. Magnus won't stop talking about you. It's always 'Alec has eyes the color of gemstones' this- and 'you could bounce a quarter off of his perfectly perfect abs' that- but now I see that he wasn't exaggerating."

Alec felt his eyes grow impossibly wider. He opened his mouth to speak but just ended up creating a noise that sounded like he was choking.

People never said things like that about him.

_Never_.

It was hard enough to believe that Magnus actually liked him but to find out that he was also talking to his friends about Alec too? The whole thing just seemed surreal.

He looked back at Magnus to find the man pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation but Alec could see the corner of his mouth curling up in slight amusement.

Will began to laugh as he continued moving into the apartment.

"Forgive Will," Magnus eventually started. "He was dropped a few too many times on his head when we were younger so he's not good in social interactions."

Will's laughter immediately cut off, "Hey-" He said indignantly. He walked over to the couch and plopped down next to Magnus' head.

Alec observed as he flicked Magnus on the ear and then they began to banter back and forth again. They spoke with the familiarity of two people who had known each other for so long that their arguments had a pattern and a structure- they knew how the other was going to react before the words even came out of their mouths. Plus, he and Magnus might have been quick to bicker, but the love between them was practically palpable.

It made Alec wonder whether he and his siblings looked like that when they interacted.

Will ended up staying with them for quite some time but Alec didn't mind. He, like Magnus, had an aversion to silence so he was quick to fill it up even when Alec was at a loss for what to say. He was extremely funny, telling Alec stories about when he and Magnus were kids growing up in England and all of the trouble that they got into along with their friend Ragnor.

He even went so far as to sing along to the music that was still playing in the background- loud and horribly off key, sometimes even offbeat but it caused Alec to laugh so hard that tears streamed down his face.

About an hour later, Will announced, "I like this one, Maggie."

Magnus grimaced slightly at the use of his nickname before snorting, "So do I, but may I remind you that you already have a boyfriend?"

"Jem won't mind he-crap!" Will sat up from his position on the couch so fast that he nearly fell off.

"What now?" Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

"I forgot that I only came back to get something for Jem-" And with a few more muttered expletives and something that sounded like 'he's going to kill me' Will was up from the couch and speed walking into what Alec assumed to be his bedroom.

Magnus got up from the floor, laughing. "He's probably going to need help looking for it." He stated before walking into Will's room behind him.

Alec was alone for all of a minute before both of them emerged from the room again, Magnus still looking amused and Will booking it toward the front door.

"It was nice to meet you, Alec!" He called over his shoulder, sounding somewhat distracted, before disappearing through the door.

After Will had left, Magnus spared a few jokes at his friend's expense about him never being able to remember anything and wondering out loud about why Jem- his boyfriend- still bothered to keep him around. But then Magnus had placed a kiss on his shoulder and tried to legitimately apologize for Will interrupting their date.

Alec had leaned forward and placed a quick kiss to the man's lips before reassuring him that it was no big deal.

He had actually enjoyed himself and besides…

Will was nothing compared to Jace and Izzy.

* * *

**A/N: Alright I rewrote this chapter _so many times _and tried it from _so many different povs _and finally settled on this. **

**It was about time that Alec and Will finally met and I have some plans for their new found friendship in the future. **

**Follows, favorites, and reviews are amazing, they keep me going and they make me happy when I'm sad so if you want to continue to do those things- please don't hold back. **

**-Alexandermylove **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Damn you guys really like Will/Heronstairs. **

**I hope you like this chapter because it is _full of it. _Keep in mind that things get a bit suggestive? (for lack of a better word) near the end but only a little bit. **

**This chapter starts with the morning after Will saw Jem for the first time~**

* * *

Will remembered being woken up by the sound of laughter in his ears. He opened his eyes to discover that he was still in the same position on the floor that he had fallen asleep in.

When he turned his head to face the source of the laughter he found not one, but both of his roommates standing above him. He fought the urge to groan.

Neither of them would ever let him live this down.

"Wow-" Ragnor started. Will already wanted to disappear through the floor. "For someone who claims to not be over Tessa, you seem really smitten."

Will felt his lips turn into a sneer. "I never said I wasn't over her, you _ass_."

He just hadn't felt like dating much since they had broken up a couple months ago.

Any sadness or signs of missing her were carefully hidden and locked away in the deepest recesses of his mind. They were buried so deep that they were hidden from everyone. Including himself.

The only times that any of it slipped through to the surface was when he managed to get himself so drunk that he could barely stand. But everyone knew that drunken confessions that one could not remember making the next day didn't even count as real confessions.

_Why couldn't his friends understand that?_

He received twin looks of disbelief from both of his roommates.

Will moved to stand up and he felt his bones ache after finally being able to move after hours of being in the same position. But standing up to his full fight didn't make him feel any better. He was just that much closer to his two friends and their inquisitive eyes.

Two pairs of green eyes that reminded him of a country that seemed like it was a whole lifetime away instead of just an ocean. They were eyes that reminded him of his happiest and saddest moments at the same time. They were eyes that had been there for so long that he could no longer imagine going through life without them.

Even when they belonged to the two dickheads that dared to call themselves his 'friends'.

He crossed his arms over his chest and tried to look as dignified as possible.

"Was there something that you two wanted?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

Ragnor also crossed his arms over his chest and continued to smile down at Will. Will remembers being slightly put out due to the fact that Ragnor had looked happy. With his friend's constant grumpy attitude and the fact that he was just generally miserable most of the time, the times that he was legitimately happy, Will always found it hard to stay mad at him.

But he could still try.

"Not really- Magnus told me about you experienced love at first sight when you saw his friend and I came in here to see if it was true." He then gestured to Will's position against the wall. "Clearly it is."

He kept his composure for all of five seconds before meeting Magnus' eyes again which started a whole new round of cackling.

Will refused to let his skin flush at the words.

If he blushed, then they won. And if they won, then he would have to move out. His shitty office job might pay him a decent amount of money, but it wouldn't be enough to pay for an apartment as nice as the one that they currently lived in. So he would not let his 'friends' get to him.

He was _not_ in love with Jem.

Was Will intrigued?

_Yes._

Did he find Jem attractive?

_Definetly._

Did he want to see Jem again?

_As soon as possible._

But love?

_No._

Absolutely not.

* * *

Will might have refused to acknowledge the fact that he felt something for Jem nine months ago but now he never wanted to stop.

He was in love with every last centimeter that made up Jem Carstairs.

He loved the way the light hit Jem's eyes and hair making them glow a brilliant silver flame that could never be extinguished.

He loved the way that Jem's hands were soft and gentle yet strong. The way he could run his fingers along Will's face as if it were made of glass, but also grip onto his hand and keep him grounded-be the sturdiest thing in Wills' life.

He loved the way that Jem was artistic in everything that he did. He moved with the grace and precision of the finest dancer, every movement beautiful and intentional. He was full of music and song. Whether he was practicing on his violin, humming under his breath, tapping out a beat on the coffee table, or letting out little breathless noises as Will thrusted into him over and over, voice slowly growing in volume as he grew closer to his climax.

And then there was the thing that Will was currently filing under the infinite list of things that he loved about Jem: the fact that his boyfriend smelled so good- like honey and tea and sweat and sex.

Will trailed his lips down the man's neck, nipping at his pulse point, lightly sucking on his Adam's apple, and running his teeth along his sharp collar bones. His boyfriend hummed low in his throat and Will felt long fingers running through his hair.

"Will-" Jem's sentence trailed off as he gasped.

He smiled against the man's pale skin before responding. "Yes, love?"

"You know we don't have time for this." His boyfriend attempted to admonish him lightly but the effect was muted due to the fact that he had yet to remove his fingers from Will's hair.

"I'll make it quick." Will murmured while continuing his ministrations.

"No, you won't." Jem's fingers trailed down from his scalp to his upper back, causing a shiver to run down Will's spine.

"You're right, I won't." Will smiled again, biting down into the man's skin making him moan low in his throat.

"You're going to make me miss my flight." Jem's voice started to take on a breathless quality which caused Will to feel slightly lightheaded.

"Would that really be so bad? Can't we just stay in bed all morning?"

Will made to move so that he could be hovering over the other man's chest when suddenly he was being flipped over onto his back.

Jem straddled his waist and grabbed his wrists, pinning them above his head.

His boyfriend smirked down wickedly at him and he felt his heart skip a beat in his chest.

From this position he could see every smooth, pale line of Jem's chest, long neck, almost impossibly pink lips, and his shaded eyelids, all looking as perfect as if they had been carved from marble.

He wouldn't mind staying in this position for a while.

"I need to take a shower. You can feel free to join me but if you're really adamant about staying in bed all day, you're just going to have to do it alone-"

His boyfriend leaned down to press their lips together one more time before getting up from the bed and heading over to the bathroom.

Will laid there for a moment, attempting to catch his breath, but as soon as he heard the shower turn on he was swinging his legs over the side.

He couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you think of that? **

**Make sure to follow, favorite, and review. They keep me going! **

**-Alexandermylove**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey! Once again I'm sorry that I don't have a definite posting schedule. I had this chapter planned out but I just couldn't get around to writing it with all the other crap in my life. **

**This chapter ended up being really long though so hopefully it makes up for my long absence.**

**I hope you like it: **

* * *

_I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me._

_If I had had words to speak such a thing, I would have. But there were none that seemed big enough for it, to hold that swelling truth._

Alec was lying in his bed and reading the book again. The same book he had been reading right before he had met Magnus.

He had lost count of how many times he had reread it since that day.

He just had to look at it and he was instantly reminded of the way his heart had stuttered in his chest at discovering that he was in Magnus' lap, how Magnus' golden green eyes had flashed in the light of the sun, and how his smile had managed to warm Alec all the way down to his toes.

And even though it was kind of embarrassing to think about just how fast he had managed to fall for Magnus, he wanted to be reminded of those things.

Because Magnus wasn't here.

Magnus was halfway across the country for a concert.

Not watching one.

Performing in one.

Because as Alec had recently discovered, his boyfriend?- guy that he's been seeing?- Magnus- not only played the violin but played it on a professional level.

As if Magnus wasn't already amazing. As if he wasn't already beautiful and confident and funny and sweet, now Alec could add 'extremely talented' to that list as well since Magnus was able to create a career out of something that he loved.

That was pretty freaking impressive if Alec could say so himself.

But impressive though it was, that didn't change the fact that Magnus was halfway around the country and Alec missed him immensely.

Probably way more than he should.

He kept trying to think things through rationally- he _knew _that it made no sense for him to feel this way but that didn't stop his heart from doing it anyway.

They still texted, called, and even facetimed but none of it compared to how it felt to have Magnus' lips pressed against his own, or intertwining their fingers together, or laying his head on Magnus' chest and hearing the steady beat of his heart.

He suddenly heard the sound of his buzzer going off and his eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't expecting anyone.

Magnus would be gone until next week and his siblings weren't coming home for a few days so who else was there?

He went into his living room and pressed the intercom button. "Hello?"

"Alec!" A voice came through the speaker system. It was heavily accented and vaguely familiar.

"...Will?" He said after a moment's pause.

What was his boyfr-guy he was see-Magnus'- roommate doing at his apartment? He asked as much.

"Well my boyfriend and Magnus are off at their concert and Ragnor isn't talking to me right now so I figured that I could come pay you a visit. So can I come up or what?"

He said it so simply as if this was something that he did all the time. For all Alec knew, maybe he did.

Alec wordlessly pressed the button on the wall that would open the door downstairs.

He only had to stand there for a few minutes before he heard a knocking at his door. He opened it and there was Will- wearing a simple shirt with a design that Alec didn't recognize and black pants tight enough to rival Magnus'-which made Alec look down at his own ratty sweats self consciously.

He wanted to make this as least awkward as possible. In the past couple of weeks, Alec had gotten familiar with his kind smile, the way he was sarcastic and at times flippant, but always went out of his way to make Alec feel comfortable. So he didn't want to muck this up now.

He went with the first thing to pop into his mind. "How did you know where I lived?"

Will shrugged, a small smile playing on the corner of his lips. "I have my ways. So are you going to invite me inside or should we just continue to stare at each other for a few hours? Though with the latter, it does sound a bit borderline narcissistic." Will raised his eyebrows after finding a way to bring up their similar appearance.

Alec rolled his eyes and stepped away from the door as a way of invitation.

It felt weird having Will in his apartment but the other man didn't let that bother him. He simply strode into Alec's living room as if he owned the place and walked over to examine one of the pictures that were hanging on the wall.

He studied it for a moment before asking, "Are these your siblings?"

Alec looked at the picture that had been taken years ago. Their parents had paid to have them professionally photographed and this one had been one of the outtakes. Between rounds of photos, Jace had said something that all of them found funny- it had been something stupid and ridiculous instead of an actual joke but after being in the same pose for so long, all of them had completely lost it.

So the outcome had been Jace with his head thrown back, looking extremely pleased with himself, Alec smiling so wide that his eyes were crinkling in the corners, Izzy leaning against Jace's shoulder because she was laughing so hard she could barely keep herself upright, and Max looking up at them, his eyes shining and bright and his smile even brighter.

It was his favorite picture.

Alec felt a smile come to his lips just thinking about that day. "Yeah."

He noticed that Will was looking at it in an almost wistful kind of way and continued, "Do you have siblings?"

Will nodded once. "Besides the two knuckleheads that I currently live with, I have two sisters. Ella and Cece. Neither of them have ever been to the states but they still find various ways to torment me even from an ocean away."

"I know the feeling. Jace and Izzy are at college now but they still manage to give me the same amount of stress that they did when we were all living together."

They both rolled their eyes at the sheer ridiculousness that came with having siblings.

After looking at the picture some more, they ended up in Alec's kitchen after Will expressed his desire to drink some tea.

They were waiting for the water to boil and Will was sitting at the counter, texting someone. Probably his boyfriend if the tiny smile that seemed permanently stuck to his face was anything to go by.

Alec didn't want to pry but at the same time he was definitely curious.

"So-um-" Alec scratched the back of his neck as he thought of a way to phrase his question as to not end up sounding like a complete creep. "What is-Jem?" Just great, he couldn't even remember what the man's name was. "like?"

Will looked up from his phone with raised eyebrows. "You want to know about Jem?"

Alec nodded and tried not to fidget under the navy blue gaze.

"He's-" Will's eyes went up to the ceiling as he tried to think of the right word- "amazing. He's the most amazing person that I've ever met. No offense to my roommates or well-you-"

Alec muttered 'none taken' and nodded for Will to continue.

"But he's just-he's extremely kind and sweet. He's absolutely brilliant, he's as quick as a whip and way smarter than I can ever even hope to be. He's talented-they both are- they make their instrument look as if it's an extension of their body and when they play-when _he_ plays, it can bring a grown man to tears. And he's beautiful-so beautiful that sometimes it's hard to believe that he's a real person and not just some mythical story book character. And yeah-I could probably go on for hours and hours about him but those are the basics-" Will trailed off and looked down at his phone, fiddling with the buttons of the device.

Alec wondered if that was how he sounded when he spoke of Magnus? If when he described what he looked like, or what he did, he spoke with the same obvious affection and...love.

Maybe that was the word to describe the stirring feeling in his chest, or the clamminess in his hands, or the way he felt like he was tumbling through the air at a free fall, never to reach the ground.

"Do you love him?" Alec asked quickly, the words tripping over each other as if they couldn't wait to be out of his mouth. He just needed to make sure. Make sure that what he thought he felt matched up with someone who had actually felt it.

Will looked back up at him and smirked."Very much." And he sounded positive as if even when nothing else in the world proved to be true, that fact always would be.

And one second Will's eyes were far away, thinking about things-or people that were halfway across the country but then the next, they were trained on Alec again and looking as if they could see right through him. "Do you love Magnus?" He asked softly, adding voice to the chaos in Alec's head.

Alec felt his eyes widen and heat rise to his face, "Oh-um-I-uh-"

Will smiled-not in a mocking way, one of understanding, and held up a hand to cut off Alec's stuttering, "It's fine, you don't have to answer. We can move onto other things like-" He drew out the word as he thought of a way to change the subject. When he settled on something, his eyes became bright and excited."like how _awesome_ the first season of _Daredevil_ was. You've seen it right?"

Alec shook his head. He hadn't even heard of it.

Will's hand flew up to his chest, letting out a theatrical gasp and looking at Alec as if he had just grown two heads.

"You have not lived until you have binge watched all 13 episodes in one sitting! Does your TV have Netflix?"

Alec laughed at the other man's reaction before nodding. He sent Will into his living room to set it up the show while he stayed in the kitchen to make the tea.

He had just finished adding sugar to his cup when he heard the sound of his buzzer again. But instead of just buzzing once, it kept going off as if the person downstairs was pressing it repeatedly.

"Were you expecting someone?" Will called out from the living room.

Alec walked into the room brandishing both cups. He set his own on the table and handed the other one to his friend.

"I wasn't even expecting you."

Will smirked and raised his cup in agreement, "Touche."

As he headed to the intercom again he tried to think of who it could be. There were only two real possibilities but- neither of them were supposed to be home yet.

He pressed the button to talk but before he could say anything, he was cut off by a voice that he knew way too well.

"Are you going to let us in or not?"

_Us_.

It was both of them.

Alec bit down on his lip for a minute before groaning and pressing the button that would let them in.

"Who is it?" Will called over from the couch, looking at Alec curiously.

Alec just shook his head. The other man would see soon enough.

After a few minutes the door was swinging open to reveal Jace and Isabelle.

They both smiled at seeing him and Izzy immediately moved in to give him a hug.

When they pulled back he was able to ask, "What are you two doing here?"

"We wanted to surprise you! We didn't know that you already had company though-" Isabelle said, looking over his shoulder at Will. "Is that your boyfriend?" She continued, her eyes growing suggestive as her gaze came back to meet Alec's. "_Estamos interrumpiendo_?"

Alec's eyes widened at her insinuation and felt blood rising to his cheeks. "_Isabelle_-" He hissed between his teeth.

She smirked and waggled her eyebrows at him making Alec want to disappear through the floor.

Before she could continue, or possibly repeat her sentence in English, Jace cut in, sounding as if he hadn't been listening to their conversation at all.

It wouldn't be a surprise to Alec considering that his brother's golden eyes weren't even on them but instead glued to a some point in his apartment.

"I've heard that I'm narcissistic plenty of times before," His brother started, confirming Alec's suspicion that he hadn't been listening to them, "but it seems as if you have taken it to a completely different level, Alec. Should we be concerned?"

Whole different level of narcissism? Alec mused, before remembering back to what Will had said when he first entered his apartment.

He heard a sound of movement behind him and then Will was at his back, smiling out at his siblings.

"No need for concern." His friend assured them. "I'm not Alec's boyfriend. I'm just his friend, Will."

"Alec didn't mention making a new friend." Izzy said, giving the man a once over as if she was checking to make sure that she approved.

Alec wanted to bash his head against the wall. Did Izzy really have to act like she was his mother all the time?

"_No te digo todo, Izzy._" He muttered.

"He didn't?" Will continued on, completely unaffected. "I'm surprised. I've heard that I'm the best thing that's happened to him since meeting Magnus."

Izzy's eyes grew suggestive again. Alec knew that she had just taken two random puzzle pieces and forced them together to create her own picture. "Where is Magnus, hmm?"

Her tone implied that she had twisted Will's sentence until it could back up her new theory that Alec not only had one boyfriend, but two.

"_Te voy a matar_." Alec said, probably a bit too loudly, but it was true.

She and Jace both smiled at him.

Will continued to drink his tea next to him, completely clueless as to what was happening.

* * *

**A/N: Alright so with all the new casting news that we've gotten, it's no surprise that some of it has managed to bleed into my writing. I really like all these new headcanons where the Lightwoods are Latino/mixed race so I just had to include some of that into this story. **

**For all my non Spanish speaking readers: **

**_Estamos interrumpiendo_? = Are we interrupting? **

**_No te digo todo, Izzy. = I don't tell you everything, Izzy. _**

**_Te voy a matar_. = I'm going to kill you. **

**Tell me what you guys think of casting so far in a review and while you're at it make sure to follow and favorite this story to see what's happening with Magnus and Jem in the next chapter! **

**-Alexandermylove **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Okay okay okay I'm a terrible person but summer break is approaching so I might be able to keep a regular-ish posting schedule. **

**There's a bunch of stuff in this chapter but I gotta get the plot moving so bear with me here. **

**Hope you like this: **

* * *

Alec's laugh was beautiful.

Magnus wanted to record it and set it as his ringtone or listen to it while trying to fall asleep at night.

He loved being able to make Alec laugh. The other man's face completely transformed- eyes filling with light and cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. Getting him to laugh felt like an accomplishment and every time Magnus managed to do it, he found himself smiling too-feeling extremely pleased with himself.

Magnus wanted nothing more than to be able to lean forward and press his lips to Alec's alabaster smooth skin but if he attempted that now- he just would end up kissing the screen of his phone.

It had been nearly two weeks since the last time he had seen Alec and even though he loved being able to Facetime with him, like they were doing right now-it was never the same seeing him in person.

After Alec finished laughing, his face immediately sobered up as if he had remembered something and he began to look slightly uncomfortable.

Magnus' eyebrows furrowed at his sudden change in expression. "Are you okay, darling?"

Alec attempted a small smile and ran a hand through his long black hair-only resulting in messing it up further.

"Yeah-um-just-uh-"

Magnus waited patiently. The last time Alec had stuttered this much they had ended up making out on his living room floor so he couldn't wait to see what it was Alec wanted to say this time.

Alec took a deep breath before trying to start again, "My sister- she came home and she uh- she said that- she was very adamant that we need to uh-what were the letters she used?-" Alec looked toward the ceiling as he thought. He scratched his neck for a moment before looking back at the camera, "D.T.R.?" He finished, sounding equal parts confused and embarrassed.

Magnus couldn't help it. He burst out into laughter.

He was able to look at the screen for long enough to see that Alec's face was a very bright pink color.

"Sorry, love-" He managed to get out between bouts of laughter, "I'm not laughing at you- it's just that-your sister- told you we needed to- _define our relationship_?"

Alec nodded miserably.

Magnus wanted nothing more than to be able to lift Alec's chin so that the other man would have no other choice but to look at him.

Magnus wanted to run his hand along Alec's sharp cheekbone, press a simple kiss to his lips, and then smile down at him with that smile that only seemed to come out whenever they were in each other's presence. It was a smile that was accompanied by a warm feeling in his chest and butterflies beating against the walls of his stomach.

"Look at me, darling." He said softly. Even if he couldn't do any of the things that he wanted to, he could at the very least look into those bright cerulean pools.

Hesitantly, Alec lifted his eyes again and bit his lip out of nervousness.

"I kind of just went ahead and assumed, but since your sister wants this to be official- do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Alec's eyes grew a bit wider as if he couldn't actually believe that those words had just come out of Magnus' mouth but after a moment of just looking at each other, his lips began to curl into a smile and he nodded, "Yes-I'd really like that."

As Magnus had said, he had already assumed that they were boyfriends, but hearing Alec confirm it made him feel like his heart was going to tear itself out of his chest.

Magnus smiled. "I'd like that, too."

* * *

Magnus was in the middle of buttoning up his shirt. It was way too plain for his taste but he had no other choice- the last time he had tried to push his boundaries, he had nearly been fired. He rather liked his job so he supposed it was a sacrifice that he had to make even though he felt a personal responsibly to the world to always look fabulous.

The only liberty that he got to take with his outfits each night was his bow tie. Tonight it was black, like every one else's, but when the light hit it, it sparkled with glitter.

The only problem was that he had no idea how to tie it.

So with it hanging limply around his neck, he started toward the bathroom where Jem currently was.

He and Jem shared a room, they always did when they were traveling, so they were comfortable around each other and didn't mind if say, one of them walked into the bathroom without knocking. Which is exactly what Magnus did, starting with, "Hey, darling, do you mind-"

His words cut off as he discovered that his friend was currently kneeling in front of the toilet bowl, emptying out the contents of his stomach.

He rushed over to the other man and tried to help in whatever way that he could, which wasn't much- patting his back, moving the long pieces of silver hair away from his face, and murmuring soothing words until it seemed as if Jem was finished.

Jem rose to a sitting position and leaned back against Magnus' body, taking deep, shuddering breaths. Magnus just continued to rub his arm and wait for his breathing to even out.

Eventually he heard a quiet, "I'm sorry."

Magnus loosely wrapped his arm around Jem's stomach in an awkward half hug and tried to reassure his friend."There's nothing to be sorry for. Just tell me whether or not you're feeling okay. Do you need me to call down and tell them you're not up for performing today?"

"No, no, no." Jem said quickly as if that wasn't even an option for him, "I'm fine. It must have just been something that I ate."

Magnus tried to think back to the food that he had seen Jem eat that day but he couldn't remember anything other than tea and maybe some fruit. But perhaps that was because he had been feeling queasy?

Before he could think on it some more, Jem was attempting to stand on unsteady legs.

He turned around and backed out of the grip that Magnus had around his waist and Magnus was finally able to see his face.

His skin was missing all of its coloring, he knew that Jem was naturally pale but this was different- he looked almost as white as paper. His forehead was clammy with sweat and he wavered slightly from side to side as if his legs were about to give up on him.

Magnus felt concern flash through him, red and hot and making his stomach drop right to his toes.

Jem would tell him if this was something serious right? After what had happened last time-

"Are you _sure_ that you're feeling okay? Everyone will understand if you need some time to rest-"

Jem shook his head and attempted to smile. "I'm _fine_. A bit under the weather but fine nonetheless." When Jem spoke he sounded a little tired and a little exasperated, but that wasn't exactly a cause of worry since Jem had to take that tone more times than not with friends like Magnus and Will.

Perhaps he was just blowing things out of proportion?

Before he could say something, Jem was continuing."I'm going to brush my teeth, and then I'm going to continue getting ready, and then we're going to go to our show, okay? There's no need to treat me like I'm made of glass."

Jem was right. Magnus knew that he wasn't some precious flower that was unable of fending for himself but-

He forced himself to stop his current train of thought and nodded once.

Jem was fine.

When his friend emerged from the bathroom fifteen minutes later, he looked like a completely different person.

His cheeks had a healthy pink flush to them, his hair was slicked back exposing the delicate bone structure of his face, and the fabric of his suit hugged his long limbs in all the right places.

Magnus felt a small pang of jealousy. It shouldn't be possible for a person to look so beautiful after having puked their guts out not even twenty minutes before but yet, here was Jem, doing exactly that.

Speaking of puking, "I made you some tea- to help with your stomach-" Magnus gestured toward the cup that he had set on the small bedside table.

Jem thanked him with a smile but instead of moving toward the tea, he moved closer to Magnus. When he deemed them close enough, his fingers went to the bow tie that was still hanging around Magnus' neck.

Jem's face grew even more amused as he picked up the two ends of fabric. "I've already taught you this so many times."

"And yet, it never sticks." Magnus shrugged.

Jem sighed and continued tying. He was about halfway done when he spoke again, "Can we agree to not tell Will about what happened? You know how he gets and I don't want him to worry for no reason."

If Magnus was bad, advising Jem to stay in bed and rest rather than perform, Will was ten times worse.

Every time Jem so much as sneezed, he wanted to tie his boyfriend down to the bed and lock him up in his room until he was feeling better again. If Will had been in the bathroom instead of Magnus, he wouldn't have simply taken Jem's word for it that he was fine, Will would have demanded that Jem go home immediately. So yes, Magnus was perfectly fine with keeping this small incident between the two of them.

"Of course."

Jem smiled gratefully and finished tying the knot.

Magnus turned away to put on his suit jacket that was hanging up on the other side of the room.

He didn't see the way Jem's hand shook as he lifted his teacup.

* * *

Two hours later and they were in the middle of a song.

Magnus couldn't focus on anything that wasn't his fingers moving along the strings and the sound of the music flowing around him- louder, softer, faster, slower- it was in his blood stream, it was in every breath he took, and every beat of his heart.

And then it was over.

They reached the end of their last song and he vaguely registered standing up and bowing through his post performance high. The way he felt after getting to play in front of people was better than any drug. It was better than most things (spending time with Alec not included).

They headed back to the hotel to change and then some of them decided to check out the nightlife of the city they were currently in.

Jem had chosen to stay in but that wasn't a cause for concern to Magnus since his friend usually turned down most offers to go out clubbing anyways.

So he was currently sitting at the bar and trying to convince his friend- an amazing cellist by the name of Maia- to dance with him, but she seemed to be more interested in the bartender who was making eyes at her rather than listen to him.

He felt someone settle on his other side but paid no mind to them. He gave up on trying to get the girl to dance and decided to switch to another tactic.

He leaned over to whisper in her ear, "If you keep that up, you're going to end up waking up in his bed tomorrow morning." He teased.

Maia slapped his arm and even in the darkness of the room, he could see the flush that was working its way across her cheeks.

It reminded him of Alec.

He smiled into his drink and turned to wave the bartender closer to them but froze halfway through the motion when he spotted a familiar flash of white-gold in the corner of his eye.

He turned fully and felt all of the blood drain from his face.

He was looking at a person who he had hoped he would never have to see again.

They smiled at him- all pearly, straight, white teeth that seemed endearing and charming but Magnus knew that they were the complete opposite.

"It's been too long, Magnus." They said in their voice that used to make his heart flutter in his chest.

It hadn't been nearly long enough.

* * *

**A/N: Dun dun dun. It's probably obvious but guess who the mystery person from Magnus' past is in the comments! **

**As always feel free to follow, favorite, and comment- they keep me going! **

**-Alexandermylove **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Alright so it's been a rough couple of weeks. Some stand out moments being final exams, dropping my phone in a toilet, and _Fanfiction fucking deleting my edits literally ten minutes before I could finish writing this chapter. _**

**But enough about my life... wow you guys seemed to really like the last chapter- which is why you don't get to find out what happened between Magnus and the 'mysterious blond person' until later. **

**This chapter is from Will's POV so be prepared for character development, some backstory, and Heronstairs. **

**Hope you like it:**

* * *

Tomorrow.

They were coming home tomorrow.

He couldn't wait any longer. He didn't want to wait.

"Pacing isn't going to make them come home any faster, you know."

That was Alec.

The other man's voice was calm and collected- he didn't even bother looking up from his sketch book.

They had become fast friends- almost instantly feeling a connection between them. Alec was legitimately kind and sweet, to his core, in a way that most people weren't, he was funny, a good listener, and they had a lot in common from their music taste to their devilishly handsome good looks.

In an alternative universe without Jem and Magnus in it, Will could definitely see himself falling in love with Alec.

He moved a bit closer to get a look at whatever it was that Alec was drawing and found that it was- of him.

The line work was dark and a bit messy but it was unmistakably Will- one leg raised in mid step, hands out and gesturing wildly and messy hair falling into his face.

Will smiled and raised an eyebrow even though the other man had yet to look up from the sketch. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"

Alec was a part time writer, part time illustrator, part time whatever pays the bills at the end of each month. When Will had come in he had been working on a cartoon for some newspaper that Will had never heard of, but clearly he had abandoned it in favor of drawing Will instead.

Alec raised an eyebrow at the paper, apparently still too busy with shading the picture to look up. "Aren't _you_ supposed to be working?"

Will looked down at his watch to see that his lunch hour would be over in exactly two minutes. He swore under his breath but it had no real panic or urgency behind it- he was consistently late enough that his coworkers were actually surprised if he showed up on time. But it was best if he didn't push it, so after a quick farewell- he was heading back to his boring office job.

* * *

He had lost a bit of his restlessness as the day had gone on but he was still practically vibrating with his need to see Jem, hold his boyfriend in his arms, press their lips together, and then lie down in one of their beds and not let the other man out for hours. Oh- and he guessed he wanted to see Magnus too.

He walked through the front door of his apartment, threw down his bag, and called out to his roommate: "Hey, Ragnorok and Roll, are you home?"

He waited a bit to hear a response but when none came, he moved into the kitchen to make some tea. He made enough to fill two cups- if Ragnor was home and just ignoring him then it could be used to placate the other man long enough to let Will stay in his room for a bit, and if he wasn't then that just meant that Will got to enjoy double the amount of tea.

Win-Win situation.

He let himself into Ragnor's room and found his friend lying down on the bed texting someone-probably Catarina- on his phone.

Ragnor raised his head, his green eyes instantly tightening into a glare. "What do you want?"

Will walked over to the bed, having spent enough years looking at the same glare that he was no longer fazed. He sat down and leaned back against the headboard before handing his friend the second cup of tea. Ragnor's glare lost just a bit of its sharpness as he accepted it. That was as much of an acceptance that Will was going to get so he decided to go with it.

He shrugged as way of response and made himself comfortable, pulling out his own phone and opening up some Dickens on his reading app. They settled into a comfortable silence.

Being like this reminded him of when they were way younger, back before Magnus had come into their lives, back when Will's parents had just adopted Ragnor.

All those years ago when Ragnor still had nightmares about his father and would wake up crying in the middle of the night. He always tried to hide it, was way too proud- even at that age- to ask for help in any way. Will hadn't cared that Ragnor didn't ask, he would just climb into the other boy's bed and stroke his hair or rub his back until the both of them fell back to sleep.

They kept up that practice for years, even when the nightmares eventually faded.

For the longest time- that was the only way that either of them sleep.

He paused in his reading for long enough to wonder whether Ragnor still remembers that time with the same fondness that he does.

* * *

Hours after Ragnor had finally kicked him out of his room, Will was half asleep in his own bed.

Will turned around and he felt his fingers brush against something.

He vaguely registered heat underneath his fingertips.

His eyes fluttered open for a brief second to see a flash of silver. He would have drifted back to unconsciousness if it hasn't been for the color. It was the same color that he had longed to see for the past two and a half weeks.

His eyes snapped open to find- Jem. Silver hair mused, eyes half closed, and familiar small smile playing on the corner of his lips.

Will felt his heart skip a beat in his chest. He had wanted to be with Jem so badly and now here he was, almost as if he had appeared by magic.

His hand tightened its grip on Jem's forearm. "How-what-where-Jem?" He stuttered out, trying to ask way too many questions at the same time.

The little smirk on his boyfriend's lips grew in size and his silver eyes sparkled with fondness. "Eloquent as always." He teased softly.

Will felt a smile form on his own lips.

Jem was here.

Jem was in his bed.

Jem was close enough to touch and Will was barely even touching him.

He shifted closer until he could rest his head on his lover's chest and then wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's slim waist. His body instantly relaxed as he felt long fingered hands settle onto him, one running along his lower back and the other working itself through his dark curls.

It felt so freaking good to be with Jem and to have him so close. It was the only thing that Will could focus on, the one thought that kept playing and replaying in his head.

And he almost didn't notice.

Almost.

"Are you okay?" He started. "You feel warm."

Will made to get up but before he could, Jem tightened his grip around his waist.

"I just got back. Can you please stop worrying about me for two seconds and just trust that I'm fine?"

Will let the words sink in. Even though his skin was warmer than usual- his heart beat was steady and his fingers were strong and his voice was equal parts soft and exasperated just like it always was. Maybe he was overreacting a bit- he had the tendency to do that around Jem. He just couldn't help it.

Will started to rub circles into his boyfriend's side. "I'm sorry, I just-"

"Shh-" Jem silenced him. "I know." He ran his fingers along Will's scalp and that was all that needed to said.

Will let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and let himself relax again. They settled into silence, the only sounds coming from their soft breathing, until Will eventually broke it.

"How are you here? You weren't supposed to be back until the afternoon." Not that Will wasn't enjoying every second of this, he was just curious.

Jem's long fingers trailed along his bare skin, creating pictures and patterns that he would never get to see. "We got back early. I figured that I could sneak into your room- maybe watch you sleep for a bit-"

Will smiled against his boyfriend's chest and continued, keeping the same teaching tone, "Hmm, sounds a bit-creepy. Next thing I know, you're going to be collecting my used gum and putting it in a scrap book."

He heard Jem snort above him. "Remind me, why do I love you, again?"

And there went his heart, feeling like it wanted to rip its way out of his chest because of Jem's casual use of the word 'love'.

But he reined himself in and tried to continue the conversation with his usual sarcastic tone. "Because I'm tall, dark, and handsome? What more could you need?"

There was the sound of Jem's laughter, soft and sweet and melodic, before his boyfriend finally spoke again, "I missed this."

Will tilted his head up in the hopes of being able to to catch sight his boyfriend's beautiful silver eyes. "I missed you."

_So, so much. _

_More than you could ever know._

* * *

**A/N: Yet another Marvel reference- I really need to stop with those but anyway...**

**The Heronstairs was a bit drawn out but all you guys were freaking out and yelling at me in the comments because of what happened in the last chapter so I needed a way to pacify you somehow.**

**Something that I keep forgetting to say but I actually didn't forget this time: I need a summary for this story! The current one that I have actually sucks so I need you guys to help me out. If you do, I'll write you a prompt or follow you on tumblr or follow you on here or basically whatever you want (to some reasonable extent) as long as you do me this one solid. Just PM me with your summary and I'll get back to you. **

**I think that's all I have to say so don't forget to follow, favorite, and review they keep me going!**

**-Alexandermylove **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I've finally returned from unexpected hiatus! I don't know what happened I just got really freaking busy and then I had to rewrite this chapter because it wasn't working for me. **

**But anyway... please don't kill me for the events of the first part of this chapter. You'll see what I mean once you see it. **

* * *

Magnus felt like shit.

He was the worst boyfriend in the history of boyfriends.

He washed his face over and over again as if he could wash away the acts that he had committed earlier today.

He actually felt a bit sick to his stomach because of the things that he had allowed himself to do. He had sworn to himself over and over that he would _never _fall into her clutches again. He had thought that part of his life was over and done with. That he would never revert back to the person he once was with her. But today, he had.

He splashed ice cold water on his face one last time before looking up at his reflection, his eyes were wide, his once perfectly spiked hair was wild, and his usually smooth caramel skin looked blotchy and red.

If he just closed his eyes he could still feel the way her lips had felt pressed against his own.

He had finally convinced Maia to stop flirting with the bartender and go out on the dance floor with him. He had been in the middle of turning his friend around and around in circles- her cheeks were flushed and they were both laughing- but as soon as the song had ended, someone found a way to squeeze themselves between them.

Maia, seeming to recognize the blonde female that had joined them at the bar earlier had much to Magnus' dismay, graciously retreated away before he could so much as open his mouth to stop her.

And then he was stuck on the dance floor with none other than his ex- not exactly fuck buddy but not exactly girl friend either- Camille Belcourt herself. And she was swaying to the fast paced beat, putting her small hands on Magnus' waist to try to get him to join in too.

He couldn't exactly discern what the feeling that was currently stirring in his chest was. All he knew was that he didn't really want to find out.

He just wanted to get off this dance floor as soon as possible.

"Camille-" He started.

"Just dance with me." She quickly cut him off. Still moving her hips to the beat, she took Magnus' hands in her own and led them to her waist before draping her arms around his neck. "Come on, Magnus." She practically purred into his ear.

It brought back memories from years ago when they had been in similar positions and it caused a shiver to run down his spine.

She must have seen something in his eyes because her own bright green ones grew wicked and her trademark smirk formed on her lips. She leaned in closer to his ear again to say, "Please."

In the past, that word would have been enough to make him fall to his knees and do whatever she wanted him to. She had always been able to bend his will so that it fit hers.

But it was no longer the past, and he was no longer that person he reminded himself.

He tried to moved backward, get away from the feeling of her hot breath on his neck and her hands rubbing circles into his skin but she simply moved with him.

"I can't do this-" He said, probably way too low to hear over the thumping music.

But she seemed to hear him anyway. One of her hands moved away from his neck to stroke his cheek. "Why?" When she looked into his eyes she almost looked innocent and concerned. She had always been an expert in acting like she actually cared about him.

His eyes widened at the touch and his own hand came up to her wrist to move it away from his face.

And he didn't realize just how close they were until she was leaning forward and pressing her lips to his own. They were cold and smooth and tasted like the alcohol she had drank earlier.

He almost didn't realize that he was kissing her back until she moaned into his mouth and ran her tongue along his bottom lip. Magnus' eyes flew open and he reeled back as fast as if he had been burned.

His eyes were wide and his breath was coming out in pants and his heart was pounding against his rib cage. And the only thing that he could think about was-

Alec.

Alec who held more kindness in his freaking pinky than Camille did in her whole body.

Alec who he would be seeing again in a week.

Alec who was actually interested in who Magnus was as a person instead of how good he was in bed.

Alec who was his _boyfriend_.

Magnus felt like he was going to throw up.

Camille looked as if she wanted to move toward him again, never one to be easily fazed but Magnus threw up his arms to ward her off.

"I can't do this-" His voice had sounded pathetic to his ears as he made his escape from her.

In the present, Magnus tried to walk back into the dark hotel bedroom as quietly as humanly possible but of course it didn't work because as soon as he sat down on the edge of his bed, he heard:

"Are you okay?" It was Jem.

Of course it was.

Because Magnus couldn't just wallow in self-disgust in peace. His friend had to be there to worry about him even when it was late and he was feeling sick.

Magnus swung his long legs onto the bed and laid down. He could just barely make out the silver of Jem's eyes looking at him from the other side of the room.

"No." He answered honestly because he didn't think that he would be able to pull off lying right now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He heard the sound of Jem shifting as if he was about to get up and talk to Magnus about whatever it was that was bothering him even if they both needed to be up and ready to go in only a couple of hours.

"No." Magnus answered, perhaps a bit too quickly. "At least, not right now."

Maybe not ever.

* * *

A week had passed and Magnus was actually a little surprised that he was able to stand. He was probably only kept running by the magical power of ridiculous amounts of coffee and _Monster_ energy drink.

He had not slept since his last performance two nights ago- instead choosing to remain awake throughout a whole day of traveling and then when he had finally gotten back home in the early hours of the morning, staying up watching bad reality television with Ragnor until it reached a reasonable time to go to Alec's apartment.

He pressed the buzzer and then waited. Even though Will had apparently been inside multiple times, Magnus never had. He wasn't upset by that fact and even if he was, it wasn't really Magnus' place to get upset about what his boyfriend and his best friend had gotten up to while he was gone. Especially since, knowing both of their personalities, the worst thing he could imagine them doing was not as bad as what Magnus had actually done.

But Magnus decided to use it as a jumping off point of sorts. Make a joke out of it rather than actually face what he had done.

He pressed the button that allowed Alec to hear him and said, "So Will tells me that you've been drawing him like one of your French girls and I'm not sure whether I should be jealous or not but-"

Before he could finish his sentence, he heard the clicking sound of the door being unlocked.

He quickly opened the door and entered into the building. The directory outside had said that his boyfriend's apartment was _303 _so he rushed up the stairs and didn't stop moving until he was knocking on Alec's door.

In the few seconds it took the door to open, Magnus pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, tucked a long tendril of hair that had escaped from his bun behind his ear, and dug his fingers into the palms of his hands to stop them from shaking. He wasn't exactly sure if it was nerves, sleep deprivation, or both.

But before he could figure it out, the door was swinging open to reveal- plain black jeans, a university sweatshirt that looked two sizes too big, big blue eyes that looked as clear as the morning sky.

Alec.

In the week since he had kissed Camille, his imagination had run wild with the possibilities of what could happen like Alec simply looking into his face and being able to instantly _know_ what had happened or his boyfriend being able to smell her scent on his skin.

But none of his imaginings happened.

Alec's face immediately lit up at seeing him and Magnus felt himself release a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

Magnus felt his hands stop shaking.

He hadn't even known Alec for that long but simply being in the other man's presence was enough for Magnus to feel calmer.

Being with Alec felt _right. _And Magnus hadn't felt that way in a long time.

"Hi, darling." He started, moving closer to the other man.

Alec met him halfway and he practically fell into Magnus, his long fingers cupping Magnus' cheeks as if he were made of glass. The complete opposite of Camille's almost possessive touch.

Magnus wrapped his arms around the pale man's waist and took a deep breath in- Alec smelled like charcoal and the sandalwood soap that they both used- before leaning forward and pressing their lips together.

It was soft and sweet and gentle and made Magnus' heart skip a beat in his chest.

He was forced to break it when he started to feel a bit light headed and he heard Alec let out a small, almost inaudible whimper.

Magnus laughed breathlessly, it felt good to know that Alec wanted him just as much as he wanted Alec, and leaned their foreheads together so that they could remain close.

Magnus would have no problems just standing there in the hallway, holding Alec in his arms for hours- even though he felt like he would collapse from sleep deprivation.

"Hi-" His boyfriend finally breathed out against his neck and Magnus felt his nerves continue to fade away as each second passed by.

Alec didn't know about Camille and since Magnus was never going to see her again, he never had to find out. Why bring it up when it was only going to cause Alec to worry unnecessarily? Magnus could just keep this to himself and they could remain happy.

And once he decided that, some of the fog clouding his head cleared up enough to make a joke.

"So should I be jealous?" Magnus asked playfully.

Alec pulled away slightly. "Of Will?" He made a contemplative sound. "Probably." He finally answered with a shrug before smiling and pecking Magnus on the lips one last time and pulling him into his apartment.

They ended up falling into Alec's bed- not to do anything more scandalous than kiss- and Magnus soon gave in to the sleep that he had been holding off for two days and fell asleep pressed against Alec's chest.

* * *

**A/N: So...yeah tell me what you think. **

**Please follow, favorite, and review they keep me going! **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Holy shit! I don't even know where to begin. Unexpected hiatus? Again. **

**About halfway though I got a really bad writer's block and I even considered not continuing for a bit? But I pushed through. I planned to post this a few days ago but Fanfiction decided to stop working? But after such a long time-here we finally are! And you might have noticed that this is the longest chapter to date! More to come at the bottom but for now I hope you enjoy this: **

* * *

Alec woke up with an arm wrapped around his waist and a head pressed against his chest. He took a moment to lie there and just take everything in.

Magnus was home.

Finally.

He had been gone for so long that even though Alec had a record of their calls and texts on his phone he had almost started to believe that he had just imagined Magnus. That he could still wake up and find out that the last couple of months had only existed in his head.

And thinking about months- had he really only met Magnus a little bit under three months ago?

Jace was his brother and best friend and it had taken Alec the better portion of a year to get used to him when his parents had adopted him. But with Magnus- Alec had let him sleep in his bed without even batting an eye. When had he gotten so comfortable around this man who was now his boyfriend?

Magnus shifted slightly in his sleep, unconsciously tightening his grip around Alec and he was suddenly struck by just how peaceful and at ease his boyfriend looked lying on his chest with his long black hair falling into his face. And he was reminded of yesterday and how Magnus had kissed him him wild and desperate and held onto him so tightly as if they could not possibly get close enough.

Maybe he didn't completely understand how this had happened but what Alec did know was that it felt right. And if Magnus was anything to go by, his boyfriend felt the same way.

He wasn't sure how long he spent lying there stroking Magnus' shoulders and smoothing the hair away from his face when the older man finally began to stir.

"Hmm-" Magnus moaned out tiredly and pressed a small kiss to Alec's chest. "Good morning."

Alec's heart started fluttering in his chest. "Morning-" He paused for a bit as he thought of something else to say. "How do you feel about breakfast?" He finally asked.

Magnus rolled off of him, leaving Alec feeling cold in his absence, before sitting up. "Like the topic of breakfast? Or actually making it? If it's the latter, I've kind of been banned from cooking for the rest of my life."

Alec also sat up, his facial expression torn between confusion and amusement. "How? Why?" Because both questions needed to be asked.

Magnus ran his finger though his hair in an almost sheepish manner. "I almost-accidentally- burnt down the kitchen a couple of times so eventually Will and Ragnor told me to stop trying to cook." He shrugged. "So I haven't done it in years."

Alec raised an eyebrow. "What counts as a couple of times?"

"Only like four or five-"

Alec felt his eyes widen. Five times? No wonder his friends didn't trust him to cook anymore. He gave Alec's sister a run for her money and Izzy was _terrible_.

"Well lucky for you I haven't been banned from cooking, so I guess I'll take care of it."

They got out of bed and headed into the kitchen. Magnus wasn't any help but he did make a lovely companion- he sat at the counter with his long hair a bit wild and hints of smudged makeup underneath his eyes but still managed to look as beautiful as if he was a sculpture carved from marble.

They traded stories as Alec got to work cracking eggs into a bowl. He discovered that when Ragnor was in the mood, he was easily the best cook out of the three of them but Will also knew enough to get by. And he told Magnus about learning how to cook through studying various cookbooks and trying out the recipes while his parents were off on long business trips. It had either been that or endure Izzy's method of just throwing whatever food was closest to her into a pot and hoping for the best.

Alec had just turned off the stove and finished his tale of the time Izzy had tried to make peanut-fish-olive-tomato soup when he he felt strong arms wrap around his waist.

The laughter died in his throat as he felt the hard length of Magnus' body press up against him.

He heart rate picked up as Magnus' hand ran down the expanse of his stomach and settled on his hips.

"I have something for you." He was so close that Alec could feel his hot breath against the skin of his neck and shoulder, making a shiver run down his spine.

"Hmm-?" Was the only thing that Alec could get out because both of his languages had failed him and he couldn't think of any actual words. Magnus laughed against his skin before pressing a soft kiss to the point where neck and shoulder met. Alec let out an appreciative sound, still unable to get out any words.

Magnus turned him around and Alec felt his face fill with heat as his boyfriend looked down at him with intensity in his golden-green eyes.

He leaned forward as if he was going to go in for a kiss and Alec shifted to close some of the distance between them but literally just as their lips were about to touch-

Magnus pulled back with a wide smile on his face. "Wait here while I go get it." He said before letting go of Alec and disappearing into the living room.

Alec groaned but smiled nonetheless as he waited for his boyfriend to return.

What could Magnus have possibly gotten him?

Wasn't it a bit early in their relationship for gifts?

Should he have also gotten something for Magnus?

But then Magnus reappeared in the doorway with his hands behind his back.

"Close your eyes." He instructed and Alec obediently closed them. "You're not peeking, right?"

Alec smiled at the silly question and covered his eyes with his hands to prove that he was not in fact peeking.

He heard the sound of Magnus walking into the kitchen and stopping right in front of him.

"Alright, you can open them now, love."

Alec did.

His eyes widened and he sucked in a gasp.

"You didn't-" He breathed out.

Magnus smirked. "I did."

In Magnus' long fingers, he was holding two tickets to see Alec's favorite band.

"This isn't a joke?" He asked. Just to be sure.

The tall man laughed once, "Unless Will bought fake tickets- no this isn't a joke."

Before Alec could even register what he was doing, he was throwing himself forward and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

"Thank you so much-" He said against Magnus' neck. He ended up repeating it. And then doing it again.

"It was no big deal, sweetheart." Magnus said nonchalantly as if this wasn't one of the nicest things someone had ever done for him. As if he hadn't listened to Alec's music even when it was the exact opposite of what he usually listened to. As if he hadn't just bought Alec tickets to see his favorite freaking band in concert.

Alec lifted his head from the crook of Magnus' neck and tilted it upwards. The taller man wasted no time bringing their lips together and when they met- Alec felt like a million fireworks had just gone off in his head.

How had he gotten this lucky?

* * *

A few weeks had passed since the day that Magnus had gifted him with the tickets and today was the day of the concert.

Alec was currently in Magnus' kitchen- since he didn't have a deadline to meet and Magnus didn't have practice until the following week, they had stayed up until the early hours of the morning watching terrible horror films on Magnus' couch. They had been more ridiculous than scary but it had been fun cuddling together and laughing at what was happening on the screen.

He was in the middle of making a pot of coffee when he heard the sound of the front door opening, closing, and then footsteps walking toward him.

"Hey darling I-" An unfamiliar voice started before suddenly cutting off.

Alec turned around to find a tall Asian man with pale skin and oddly colored hair and eyes, he wore a patterned red shirt over simple black pants, and was carrying a brown paper bag in one of his hands.

He smiled before saying, "Even though the resemblance is uncanny, you're not Will, so I'm going to guess and say that you are the Alec that I have heard so much about." He put the bag down on the counter and held out his hand. "I'm Jem."

This was Jem?

Alec wasn't sure exactly what he had been expecting from Will's boyfriend but Jem, with his catlike grace, simple elegance, and well contained energy, had not been it.

But he had heard Will's voice when he had admitted with absolute, unwavering conviction that he was in love with Jem. It didn't matter how different or similar they were if they had that.

"Oh-yeah-" He stuttered out, realizing that Jem expected him to say something back. "I'm Alec-" He took Jem's hand in his own and shook it.

And now he had gone and made a fool out of himself yet again. He couldn't catch a break could he?

Jem didn't seem to notice though, "It's nice to finally meet you. I brought bagels in an attempt to try to get them out of bed before three. Feel free to help yourself. I'll be right back." He said before walking off toward the bedrooms.

Alec busied himself by fiddling around with the coffee maker and trying to find five matching cups. A task that proved to be impossible since it appeared as if the roommates had never bought a matching set of _anything_ in their lives- but it managed to keep him occupied until Magnus joined him in the kitchen.

His hair was tied up in a quick bun and his glasses sat on his head unused while he tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

Alec poured him a cup of coffee and handed it to him earning him a sleepy smile and a small kiss on the cheek.

Next came Ragnor, who didn't look tired so much as annoyed. Magnus greeted his blond friend loudly and with way more enthusiasm then one would expect from someone who had just woken up and Alec mumbled a greeting into his coffee cup. Ragnor simply grunted in response and headed toward the bag of bagels.

Magnus had introduced them a week ago and Alec had automatically gotten the impression that Ragnor didn't like him.

Will and Magnus had both insisted that Ragnor didn't like anyone so it wasn't something to be discouraged by but Alec couldn't help but feel discouraged anyway. He had heard stories about Ragnor going days without talking to his roommates, he had been told that this was simply how Ragnor treated people, even the ones that he liked. But hearing all of that didn't stop the the stab of pain that laced it's way through his chest because this was one of Magnus' best friends and Ragnor acted like he hated him.

Magnus must have seen the way his face fell because he leaned over and whispered into his ear about being excited for the concert that they would be going to that night. Alec instantly felt grateful to Magnus for not letting him get stuck in his own head and overthink things until the point where they were blown out of proportion.

Only after several minutes of eating and talking did Will and Jem make an appearance. Jem was smiling and murmuring into Will's ear but Will looked like he was still half asleep. His hair was wild and it appeared as if he had not remembered to put on a shirt so all of his hard muscles were on full display.

Magnus let out a low whistle and it went to show how out of it Will was when he didn't even react.

It took a bit of time but after getting coffee in his system and eating half of his everything bagel, Will finally started to join in on the conversation that was happening around the table.

As per usual, he and Magnus bickered like toddlers and even went so far as to start throwing small pieces of bagel at each other and participate in a mini food fight.

With Ragnor, his presence seemed to have the opposite effect, his friend didn't seem as irritated with Will around and he spared them some words and even a small smile here and there.

And with Jem- Jem brought out a completely different side of Will. He was still sarcastic and flippant but between his witty retorts and after his snarky comebacks, Alec could practically see the hearts in his eyes every time he looked at his boyfriend. Will became softer and calmer as if being around Jem brought him peace and serenity.

Alec found himself wondering if that was how he looked when he was with Magnus?

* * *

Alec barely managed to get the door unlocked and enter his apartment before Magnus was backing him up against the wall and pressing their lips together.

The concert had been amazing.

The five of them- since Ragnor, Will, and Jem had joined them as well- had followed the steadily growing crowd piling into the Irving Plaza and managed to find a good spot.

Alec, Will, and surprisingly, Ragnor- Alec didn't expect them to have anything in common- had known both of the opening acts and sang along to almost every song.

They were situated pretty close to the bar so at intervals, one of them would go and buy a round of drinks. By the second refill, things started to get- interesting.

The alcohol Will had bought burned going down his throat but it acted as a liquid courage for him.

Going in, Alec had been self-conscious, being surrounded by people made him feel as if there were thousands of eyes all watching and judging him so he had no idea what to do with himself. But once he got a good buzz going, those feelings started to become muted and there was only one person whose opinion actually mattered to him.

By the time the headliners came on, he and Magnus had danced.

It had started off as very innocent, simply jumping and swaying when the different songs called for it. But somewhere near the end, Magnus ended up behind him with his arms wrapped around Alec's waist.

"Is this okay?" Magnus had asked against his skin.

Alec nodded and they had swayed together through a slow song. Even when things had picked back up, they had stayed like that- and it had been perfect. Even though they were surrounded by people on all sides, it might as well have been just the two of them.

And now they were making out in Alec's living room.

The way that they had practically sprinted into his apartment and Magnus had pinned him up against his wall, one would think that they were two minutes away from going at it on the living room floor but it was actually the exact opposite.

There was no urgency in the way that they were kissing- their lips came together as if they had all the time in the world.

One of Alec's hands cupped Magnus' face and the other tangled in his boyfriend's long black hair, causing the taller man to moan into his mouth. Magnus' own hands had worked their way underneath Alec's shirt and his long fingers burned trails of warmth down his back. They kissed again and again and again until Alec lost all concept of time and they were gasping for breath.

Magnus led them over to the couch, Alec sat down on it with his boyfriend straddling his waist and from this position, Alec couldn't help but notice that they were both hard in their pants.

Alec's face probably turned the shade of a tomato in the span of three seconds.

This was uncharted territory.

They had never been this close before and- was this okay with Magnus? Was this okay with _himself_?

Alec sat there frozen.

Of course he had thought of taking things to the next step with Magnus.

Having sex with Magnus.

But sex changed things and he didn't want things to have to change. He didn't think he would be able to handle it if after all of this time, Magnus decided that he no longer wanted to be with him after they had gone to bed together.

The reasonable majority of his brain reassured him that Magnus wasn't like that, but he also couldn't shut up the smaller anxiety ridden portion of his brain that kept insisting that Magnus would instantly lose interest in him afterwards.

"Hey-" Magnus' voice was gentle in his ears as he carefully took Alec's hands into his own. "Stay with me okay?" He led Alec's pale hands to his pink lips and kissed both of the palms in turn.

Alec blinked; Magnus had recognized that he was getting caught up in his mind and stopped him in his tracks. He ducked his head and mumbled an apology to a spot on Magnus' shoulder.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. We can move at your pace. If you want to stick with just kissing for a while then that's fine but if you want to do more- just let me know when you're ready, okay?"

Alec wanted to groan but bit back the sound before it could leave his mouth.

Magnus had it all wrong. It's not that he wasn't ready for sex, it was that he was afraid of what would happen after. After they had gotten to know each other in the most intimate way possible, what was left? Alec's past experience had shown him that there wasn't much so no, he didn't want to jump into bed just yet.

But his brain was frazzled because of nerves and alcohol and he couldn't think of a coherent way to say any of these things.

Magnus used their still joined hands to urge Alec's face up so that they could look each other in the eye.

"Okay?" He repeated and it was only then that Alec realized that he had yet to respond.

Alec leaned forward until their foreheads touched. He liked Magnus. He _more than_ liked Magnus. He wanted this to last as long as possible and if making them move at a slow pace was what it took, then so be it.

"Okay." He breathed out.

* * *

**A/N: I'm actually not sure how I feel about this chapter-especially the last part- but I guess that's just because I haven't written for this in so long. **

**Let me know what you think! Leave me a comment, favorite, and follow because they keep me going! **

**Until next time~**

**Alexandermylove**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello from the other side! I'm not dead even though I disappeared for a couple of months. For that I'm so so sorry, I just have so much shit going on with applying for college and it was just easier to not update this but here I am at last! **

**A quick timeline so you're not confused- the last chapter took place in late June so this one starts in the very last days of June and early July- you'll see why. **

**I really hope you like this chapter, it's very long and took me quite a while to edit so here goes nothing:**

* * *

A few days after the concert he and Magnus had gone out for brunch before his boyfriend needed to go to practice.

Magnus' hand slid underneath his shirt and Alec shivered at the feeling of the other man's ring clad hand running down his spine. It was nice. He loved having Magnus' skin pressed against his own without the pressure of taking it further just yet.

Alec could handle simple touches. He had no problem against kissing and cuddling and long fingered hands tracing the lines of his skin.

He wanted to memorize every line, every freckle, every perfect imperfection of Magnus' body. He wanted to see what they felt like beneath his lips and trace over them with his tongue. But that probably wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Every time he thought about having sex with Magnus, he felt pain in his chest. He wanted to let Magnus know his fears about sex and what that step would mean for them but he had no idea how to put any of it into words. No idea how to talk about his past and what had happened to fill him with all of these doubts.

So he just breathed into Magnus' mouth and kissed him back firmly.

Eventually Magnus' hands settled on his hips and he pulled back. He leaned his forehead against Alec's and smiled down at him.

"As much as I would love to continue this, I really need to go-" His voice said that he wanted anything but and Alec felt his heart stutter in his chest.

No one had shown him this level of interest in years. He had grown used to being alone and having no one act like they wanted or needed to spend time with him (except for his siblings and they didn't even count).

Alec pecked him on the lips, "I'll see you later then?"

Magnus nodded once. "I'll text you when I get out of practice."

Alec could see from the look in his eyes that he wanted to lean forward again so when he did, Alec turned his head so that the kiss landed on his cheekbone. As much as he wanted to continue their make out session, he also did not want Magnus to be late.

His boyfriend's lips curled into a smile against his skin and with one last peck to his cheek, Magnus was pushing away from the wall and walking away. Alec closed his eyes as the sound of Magnus leaving grew fainter and fainter.

He stood there for a few seconds to regulate his breathing before digging his keys out of his pocket. He was still smiling as he slid it into the lock but as soon as the door swung open, his smile immediately disappeared.

Sitting on his couch, looking up at him expectantly, were his siblings.

"Is this an intervention?" He tried to take a page out of Will or Jace's book and keep the mood light and sarcastic to hide the anxiety that had begun to rise up in his chest.

He knew that he didn't really have much to be worried about. They all had keys to his apartment so it wasn't odd to find at least one of them bumming around his living room when they wanted to get away from their parents' house or in his kitchen eating his food when they just wanted to drop in.

But what was odd was all three of them being here at the same time, looking like they'd been waiting for the last three hours to yell at him for running Church over with his car.

Izzy was the first to respond, jumping up from her perch and strolling up to him. "Yes. It's about time you threw out all of these hideous sweaters." She pinched the collar of the sweater he was currently wearing with a look of disdain on her face.

Alec batted her hand away. This was nothing he hadn't heard before. They had had this conversation multiple times in the past and he still had no intention of getting rid of his sweaters. They were comfortable and warm and staying.

He walked over to his arm chair and plopped down onto it. He ran a hand through his hair before asking, "Okay, so what's the real reason why you're all here?"

Izzy perched on the arm of his chair. "The real reason is that you've been dating this 'Magnus' person for months now and none of us have met him. There's something wrong with that picture isn't there?"

Alec felt his eyes wanted to meet Magnus? He hadn't been expecting that.

"Oh-um-" He scratched the back of his neck.

It's not like he was _hiding _Magnus from his family per se, he just hadn't had the chance to- he had yet to find the right time-

Okay so maybe he _was_ purposely keeping Magnus from his family. But was that really such a big deal? They had only been dating for a few months.

Sure, before dating Simon, Izzy had FaceTimed him for hours to weigh all the pros and cons and showed him picture after picture to see if Alec approved, Jace had brought Clary home for Thanksgiving break after they had only known each other for less than a month, and Alec had been the first person Max confided in when he had his first crush at 10.

And when it was put that way, he kind of sounded like a terrible sibling.

He probably should not have waited this long. It was only fair to return the favor now but he had just wanted some time to work out his feelings before having to worry about all of the outside stuff as well.

Jace seemed to be the first one to recognize the dilemma that was currently warring in Alec's head- they had always been able to read each other like books- because he spoke up from the couch. "We all have a good sense of character. Don't you want to know if your boyfriend is an ax murderer?"

He supposed that his brother was trying to be helpful.

And he had to admit that it did help a bit. He snorted. "Um- I think I already got that squared away?"

"Fine-" Izzy inserted herself back into the conversation. "Then what if he hated us? Or we hate him? You wouldn't know that until we had been properly introduced."

She was right. Alec doubted that anyone that had ever met Magnus would be able to hate him but what if he was mean to Max? What if Jace couldn't stand him? What would Alec do then? "That's true but-"

"Plus mom and dad are already expecting him at the family barbecue this weekend." Max piped up, effectively cutting him off.

His previous anxiety reared up, so sharp and sudden that it felt like he might puke or have a heart attack. Whichever one came first.

It was one thing for his siblings to meet Magnus, but their parents? They were a completely different ballgame.

He immediately turned on his sister. "Izzy! You told them?"

Her eyes widened at the accusation. "Why do you assume it was me? I had nothing to do with this! It was Jace."

Jace?

He turned to his blond brother with raised eyebrows. What was with his siblings and telling his business to everyone who had ears to listen?

"It's not my fault." Jace was quick to respond. "I was tired, and distracted, and they were asking me all these questions so when you came up, it just slipped out."

Izzy rolled her eyes, "In other words, he was texting Clary during breakfast and when mom asked who was coming, he blurted out that Magnus probably would."

"Which then led to another round of questioning." Max supplied.

"And now they want to meet him, too." At least Jace had the decency to sound a bit remorseful.

But that hadn't been enough to stop Alec from hitting him over the head a couple of times with a couch cushion.

* * *

Alec had tried to let Magnus know just how dumb the whole affair was.

"It's just some stupid barbecue that we have every Independence Day. It's really not a big deal if you can't come or you have other plans or whatever-"

And Magnus had cut him off with a hand on the side of his face, thumb stroking his cheek bone.

"It sounds like a bit of a big deal. Don't worry about me having something more important because I don't. I would love to meet your family, sweetheart. Unless you don't want me there?"

His other hand came up to cup Alec's face but his voice didn't sound accusatory or hurt, he was just asking a simple question. Alec felt cracks start to form in his heart. Did Magnus think he was ashamed of him? His voice was so calm as if he had just accepted that some people would be embarrassed to bring him home.

And it wasn't that at all.

Alec turned his head so that he could press a kiss to Magnus' palm. "No- it would mean a lot to me if you came to this. I don't know what's wrong with me- I didn't mean to make it sound like I don't want you to meet them. I guess I just- wanted to keep you to myself a little bit longer before putting you under the scrutiny of my family."

Magnus pressed their lips together for a brief kiss. "Well, I'll have you know that I hold up extremely well under scrutiny so don't worry."

Alec's hands settled on the man's hips and his used his hold to bring them closer and lean in for another kiss. "I'll try not to." He had said and tried to sound convincing enough to fool even himself.

But he guessed that he hadn't been very successful because they were outside of his parents house and he was very worried.

It felt like Alec's heart was in his throat.

It was just was just sitting there waiting to choke him. But he was not sure what would be worse- passing out due to nerves or actually doing what he was about to do.

Why hadn't he just said he was sick or that Magnus had a prior engagement?

If this all went badly, he was never speaking to his siblings again.

It wasn't like this was something that he hadn't done a million times before. His family had the Fourth of July barbecue every single year without fail. His parents invited their co-workers and their extended family that Alec only saw about four times a year- this day being one of them.

His siblings invited their friends and crushes. _He _had even invited some friends over in past years but never someone that he had been in a relationship with. He had just never had anyone to bring and the one time he had, he realized that he didn't really want to bring them anyway.

And his parents knew he was gay, had known for years now but there was a difference between hearing about it, having it be an intangible thing at the back of one's mind and actually seeing it in person.

He didn't know how they would react. They had tried to be accepting but Alec's dad had also once asked him what he thought had 'turned him gay' so this could go either way.

Magnus reached over the gear shift to hold Alec's hand in his own.

Alec looked down at his boyfriend's nails for a moment- saw that they had tiny American flags painted on them. Lifted his head to see Magnus' bright eyes lined in simple black kohl and his hair tied back in a knot at the back of his neck so that one could barely see the rainbow colored streaks. He was also wearing a loose fitting red shirt and black pants covered in stars and stripes.

His style was still completely his but more toned down than usual.

Alec didn't know whether to be grateful that Magnus cared about what his family thought or sad that he felt he had to change himself to get them to like him.

"Are you okay?"

Alec blinked and mentally shook himself. "Yeah- yeah- let's go."

He took his keys out of the ignition and opened his door. He could do this. It wouldn't be so bad.

Magnus smiled at him encouragingly before turning to the house in front of them.

His green eyes widened. "Wow. You grew up _here_? This is so beautiful."

Alec felt heat rise into his cheeks and he scratched at the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Yeah- thanks."

But Magnus seemed too distracted by taking in the outside of his childhood home to hear him.

Alec knew that his parents had money, he knew that they were very well off, and that they had the ability to provide for him and his three siblings and meet their every need. But he had never quite grown used to the way some people reacted to that. Perhaps he should have given Magnus a head up before taking him here?

He led them through the front door and out of the corner of his eye saw Magnus taking in all of the grandeur of the front hall. He heard his boyfriend let out a low whistle. "This is definitely a big step up from the Welsh and English countryside."

Alec scratched the back of his neck again.

He wanted to say that yes, the house was big and very nice to look at but it was also so big that one could disappear for a few days at a time, the unused bedrooms felt cold and empty, the long stretches of hallway, dark and lonely. That yes, it was great his parents could afford this but Alec would have just preferred seeing them everyday, eating breakfast with them, rather than having them disappear for days at a time and leaving them alone with house keepers and nannies.

But he didn't say any of that.

He just let Magnus continue to admire the main floor of his old house until they eventually made it to the door that would lead them into the garden.

Since he had moved out, he tended to arrive early to help his mother prepare the food or hang out with his siblings but this year, he hadn't wanted to put up with the awkwardness that would come from having Magnus meeting all of them at the same time. So when they stepped into the garden, it was full of people.

There was his father, tall and broad, manning the grill. There was his mother, strong, beautiful, and charming everyone in her presence. Max was near a clumping of trees, kicking a soccer ball around with some of his teammates. Jace, Clary, and Simon were sitting in some lawn chairs, laughing over something.

His sister though, he scanned the lawn again to make sure he hadn't missed her and still found nothing, was yet to be found. It made him feel nervous not knowing where she was.

"So far, so good." Magnus murmured in his ear.

Alec nodded and managed to smile slightly.

They had barely taken a few steps when he heard the sound of his name being called.

He turned around and Izzy was suddenly in front of him, dressed in a flowing white dress and her hair hanging loose around her shoulders. But she wasn't paying attention to him.

Her piercing brown eyes scanned over Magnus' long frame before her face suddenly broke into a bright smile. "You must be Magnus."

Magnus smiled as well, immediately turning up the charm and Alec suddenly understood what his boyfriend had meant when he said he was good under scrutiny.

"And you must be the lovely Isabelle that I have heard so much about." He held out a long fingered hand and Izzy placed hers in it. Magnus brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

His sister's smile seemed to grow impossibly wider. She was usually good at keeping her composure but now, she seemed unable to hide how thoroughly impressed she was.

"Only good things I hope?" She asked once they had broken the embrace.

"Only the _best_." Magnus replied, winking.

She turned back to her brother for a moment to murmur. "_Él me callo bien_."

Alec rolled his eyes but couldn't deny the heat that was moving up his neck. "_Callate_." His said back. But he couldn't deny that some of his anxiety had started to dissipate.

At least they were off to a good start.

* * *

Turns out that Magnus was also able to charm the rest of Alec's family as well.

He and Izzy got along like a house on fire and Alec wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel when they made plans to go shopping for clothes and make up together.

He spoke to Jace as if he were talking to Will and they were able to joke around and mock each other as if they had been friends for years. And of course anyone who could hold their own against Jace instantly got Clary and Simon's vote of confidence.

Max had been easy, he was all soft smiles and gentle laughs. But Max was open and hospitable to everyone- Alec swore he could befriend a rock- so he had no reason to worry there.

Even meeting with his parents didn't go terribly.

At first, Maryse had eyed Magnus warily but managed to make forced conversation for a few minutes. Then, somehow, the topic of Magnus playing classical violin got brought up and their words began to flow more easily. All the talk about concertos and allegros had eventually started to go over his head but Alec didn't care. Last year, he had heard his mother talking to one of his aunts about how it was a shame that he wouldn't be able to pass on his blue eyes- she hadn't been the one to say it but it had still stung- and now here she was talking to _his boyfriend_ as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

It had been a bit more strained with Robert. He supposed that his father was still not completely comfortable with Alec being gay but at least he was trying. He made polite small talk for a few minutes and though it never transitioned into relaxed conversation, Alec still appreciated the effort from both sides.

Now, a few hours later, they were sitting in the park waiting to view the fireworks.

Alec leaned into Magnus' body and his boyfriend wrapped his arm more securely around him. Having Magnus meet everyone had been exhausting, but worth it. Now it didn't seem like he was hiding his boyfriend from them anymore and maybe they would even leave him alone for a couple of weeks before finding something else to badger him about.

"Thank you for coming today." Alec said, his nose tracing Magnus' jawline.

Magnus hummed and pressed his lips to Alec's skin. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, my love."

Alec's chest seemed to alight with recognition.

He knew that Magnus used endearments as a natural part of everyday life. Used them for everyone and anyone with no regard as to what kind of relationship he had with them. But this one- did this one mean more? Did it mean what Alec thought it did or was he overthinking things?

_Did Magnus love him?_

Before Alec could respond or even get his thoughts in order, the world lit up with loud explosions and bright bursts of light.

He jumped a bit before settling against his boyfriend again. He chose to focus on the fireworks. They were simple and didn't require much thought.

* * *

**A/N: And that is that. **

**What did you think? Tell me your opinion about anything- Alec being secretive and having a past that you don't know a lot about yet, Magnus meeting the family, Magnus' _almostkindasorta_ confession? at the end there. **

**I love comments, I'll even go so far as to say I _need them- _it's been such a long time and I need to make sure that there are still people reading this so please please _please_ comment. **

**As for my non-Spanish speakers reading this, Izzy said that Magnus made a good impression on her so she approves and Alec promptly told her to shut up. **

**Thanks for reading and see you next time!**

**-Alexandermylove**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hey guys! How has your 2016 been so far? I have _finally_ worked up the nerve to edit this chapter so that's one good thing I guess. **

**You won't see Malec until the second half of this chapter because I needed to incorporate some stuff to get the plot moving again. **

**Three things to keep in mind:**

**1\. Fanfiction sucks and deleted all my edits at one point so if anything looks/sounds weird blame it on that**

**2\. I'm not a musician. I tried to do some research but if it's still inaccurate, I take full blame. **

**3\. This chapter is in Magnus' POV! **

**See you at the bottom!**

* * *

Magnus loved going to practice.

The orchestra was one of the best things in his life. Being a part of it- there were no words to describe just how amazing it felt. When they played together, he was no longer just himself, he was no longer just one man playing a violin- he became a cog in a vast machine. One voice in a sea of others, all working together to create a beautiful harmony of sound. There was not a day that passed by that he didn't thank his lucky stars that he had been given this opportunity to do what he loved every single day.

He didn't even mind when the conductor made the string section play the same section five times in a row because they weren't playing with enough fortissimo.

They played for hours and hours until he forgot the concepts of time and individuality and everything that didn't involve his hands running over the strings or holding the bow or his jaw in the chin rest.

And all too soon, their time was up.

Their conductor gave them the go ahead to start packing up, but instructed them to not immediately leave. He promised them that he would be back in ten minutes with an announcement they all needed to hear.

As soon as the door closed behind him, the room exploded. A person passing by could have easily mistaken the orchestra for a room full of fifteen year old girls. Everyone had a pretty good idea about what the announcement would be.

By this point, they had all noticed how Charlotte hadn't been around since they got back from their last string of concerts last month. And her absence was definitely felt. It was easy to understand why, she had been with the orchestra for the past eight years and she was an amazing cellist- Magnus had even heard the higher ups talking about how she was one of the best they had ever had.

Magnus knew she was fine, he had spoken to her a few times since they had gotten back but she'd always managed to carefully avoid his questions whenever he asked about her whereabouts.

The higher ups had been the same as well, their conductor paid no attention to her empty chair and carried on their practices, directing them around the Charlotte sized holes in their pieces.

Magnus sat next to Jem as they waited for the conductor to come back. His friend's skin was pale but he was also covered in a healthy looking flush so Magnus didn't really know whether he should be worried or not. Will didn't seem to be on high alert so he supposed he should take that as a good sign. But at the same time, neither he nor Jem had told him about Jem becoming sick while they were away, and Magnus suspected that his brother would be acting way differently if he had all the information.

But, Magnus asked the silver haired man how he felt earlier in the morning when they first got in and Jem had assured him that he was fine. He looked fine enough. Was laughing at something Maia had said and not wincing in pain or struggling to draw in a breath but of course that would be too easy. He supposed he just had to trust Jem to tell him, or at least tell Will, if he actually wasn't feeling well.

The door opened and the room suddenly became silent again.

Their conductor had returned and he had brought the executive director of the orchestra with him. They were quite a pair, the conductor a tall and blond man with broad shoulders and a kind face- when they were playing the music exactly how he wanted them to, and the director who was a small boned woman with very dark skin and a gaze sharp enough to make someone melt into a puddle at her feet.

They stopped a few feet in front of the orchestra and the director wasted no time getting to her announcement.

"You have all probably been wondering about the whereabouts of Mrs. Branwell-Fairchild. We are here to inform you that she is pregnant and has decided to leave the orchestra for an extended period of time."

Charlotte? Pregnant? How had Magnus- and looking around at everyone else around him- all not seen that coming? The last time he had seen her was a few weeks ago but she had looked just as tiny as she always did. Perhaps she wasn't that far along? Or maybe she had just done a good job at hiding it from all of them?

But leaving the orchestra?

Magnus never thought he would live to see the day Charlotte left. She loved playing music just as much, if not more, than he did. He knew that she had fought tooth and nail, like they all had, to get her position and she would never give it up lightly. But he supposed having a kid was not a thing to make light of.

"We are not yet sure," The director continued her speech. "how long her leave will be. Whether it is just the length of her pregnancy or indefinitely so we had to take steps to go about finding a replacement for her."

Magnus heard murmurs of dissent around him and of course he agreed with them.

Replace Charlotte?

There was a small part in his brain that logically knew that it needed to be done. The music they preformed just wouldn't sound the same with one less cello. But it was also a bit of wake up call. Every member of the orchestra felt like his family, it happened when you spent nearly everyday of your life with people who all loved and wanted the same things you did, for years.

But clearly their director did not feel the same way. She had barely even blinked at the thought of having to replace one of them. Their conductor was the one who went on tour with them, he was the one who practiced with them, and wanted them to do their best. _He _cared but to her, they were just a means to an end. And if any of them got in the way of that, she was not afraid to make the tough calls.

The murmurs didn't last for very long as soon as she sent a glare in their direction that shut them up again.

"Anyway," She continued again, "After many weeks of auditions and deliberation we have finally come to a decision. Please help me to welcome, the newest member of the Idris Philharmonic Traveling Orchestra: Camille Belcourt."

Magnus felt all the blood drain from his face.

Maybe he was dreaming.

Maybe his director was messing him because she_ had to be fucking kidding right now._

His ears vaguely registered the sound of applause surrounding him but it felt as if they were stuffed with cotton. Had he really just heard what he thought he had?

The door behind them opened and Magnus looked up to see long thin legs, pale skin, bright green eyes, and a mane of white blond hair.

He felt a hand slip into his own- he recognized Jem's long fingered hand without taking his eyes off of the woman currently walking into the room- and he squeezed it for comfort.

He had thought that he was done with her. He had kept what happened between them a secret from Alec because he was convinced that he would never see her again.

But now- now he would have to see her nearly every day for the next however many months until Charlotte came back- if she even decided that she wanted to.

Camille stopped next to where the director and conductor were and smiled at the orchestra. Her eyes found his and didn't move. Her smile grew and her green eyes became wicked as if she was planning something.

Magnus swallowed and squeezed Jem's hand again.

Fuck.

What was he going to do?

* * *

Magnus let out a sigh as he threw his keys down on the kitchen counter.

He still had no idea what he was going to do.

Jem and driven him home and even though Magnus had tried to talk about Camille's reappearance in his life, after a few minutes he discovered that he couldn't.

He didn't want to talk about their past, he didn't want to talk about how she had shown up when they were still on tour, he didn't want to talk about the fact that he was stuck with her for the time being.

But Jem had understood. He managed to keep Magnus mostly distracted and for that he was immensely grateful.

But as soon as he exited the car, all of his feelings came rushing back. The dread at having to see her again, the fear that she would try something, the guilt that he had not told anyone about what had happened the last time they had seen each other and a million other things.

He didn't want to deal with this right now. He should have just asked Jem to come in or went over to his house. Will and Ragnor were having a movie marathon at Catarina's so he wouldn't see them for another couple of hours. He had the house to himself when he really didn't want to be alone.

He didn't want to bother his friends but there was one person other person he could think of that he wouldn't be. Someone who he knew had only planned to spend the night working on some of his commissions but he could easily work on them here right?

As soon as the thought entered his head it refused to leave.

There was no point in both of them spending the night alone when they could so easily be together with just a simple phone call, right? Magnus took out his phone before his brain found a reason as to why this would be a bad idea. He quickly found the name in his contacts and sat down on his couch while it rang.

It only took two rings.

"Hello?" Alec's voice was low and kind and instantly made Magnus feel all warm on the inside.

How could anything possibly be wrong when he had Alec in his life?

"Hey, darling. How are the commissions coming along?"

Alec let out a little exasperated sounding sigh. "I'm getting there. I've never had this many at the same time before. Which isn't bad. I'm not complaining about something that pays the bills but- it's just a lot. How did practice go?"

A small smile had been developing on Magnus' face at hearing Alec talk about his day but as soon as practice was brought up, he felt his lips turn into a grimace.

"Fine. Nothing really to report on." It was a blatant lie and he hated lying to Alec, he really didn't want to, but it's not like '_my ex-_whatever_ who I haven't seen in years came back to make out with me in a bar and has now joined my orchestra'_ was something one could really say over the phone. "But," He continued speaking. "It sounds like you could use a break, sweetheart. How about you come by and I'll make you a cup of coffee?"

Alec made a humming sound. "Sounds tempting. But I really should finish up."

"You can do that here." Magnus responded quickly, trying not to let his desperation seep into his voice. "Please, darling?"

Alec sighed but Magnus knew that he had already won. "Alright fine. But only because you said 'please'."

Magnus smiled.

How did he ever get so lucky?

His doorbell rang twenty minutes after they had gotten off of the phone and by the time Alec had walked into the house, Magnus already had a hot cup of coffee waiting for him just the way he liked it: black with sugar, something that still made Magnus' curl up in disgust, but at least he had remembered.

It took Magnus a minute to get his own coffee tasting the way he need it to before turning around and going to the table where his boyfriend had settled and pressing a kiss to his lips.

Having Alec's warm hands rubbing circles into his cheeks erased all of his anxieties and worries. There was no reason to tell Alec about what had happened all those weeks ago. He had moved on from Camille ages ago and nothing would come out of her joining the orchestra.

He wouldn't let it.

He didn't need to jeopardize what he had with his boyfriend, things would be fine.

They eventually drifted into Magnus' bedroom. Not to do anything scandalous- Alec wasn't ready to do anything besides kiss yet and Magnus wasn't going to disrespect that.

Alec had captured nearly all of Magnus' pillows and was sketching with a simple pencil. Apparently he would scan all of the pictures into his computer and color them electronically later. Magnus, who could barely draw a stick figure was impressed to say the very least whenever Alec turned his sketchbook around to show him some of the pieces he was working on.

Alec had some serious talent. He was able to make everything that he drew look so beautiful and almost magical in a way. Even the trees in the background of one of his drawings looked like it could reach out with one of its branches and wrap around Magnus' wrist.

And these were only a sketches. What would a real drawing look like?

While his boyfriend drew, he read one of the many classic books that Will kept in his room. This particular one was on the smaller side compared to some of the other one's on his friends shelf but he was having a hard time concentrating on the text when Alec was on the other side of his bed.

Unlike himself, the pale man's whole being seemed to be in tuned to his drawings- a line had formed between his eyebrows and he was biting down on his bottom lip. It was extremely adorable and Magnus wanted nothing more than to plant kisses all over his cute face but he had promised that he wouldn't be a distraction so he held himself back.

He still didn't know how Alec managed to stay quiet for such long stretches of time. He seemed content to revel in the hidden symphony of sounds that resided in silence. And even though Magnus typically hated silence- he had grown up with four siblings and played music for a living- he was getting used to Alec's silences. Was getting better at reading them, when his boyfriend was lost in his thoughts or when he simply didn't know what to say.

Magnus hated silence but he could learn to appreciate them more if it meant that Alec could feel comfortable around him.

After he didn't even know how long, Alec had spoken. His half whisper almost sounded too loud in the quiet room and it startled Magnus to look up from his book.

"Can you play for me?" His usually pale cheeks were filled with color.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. Play? "Violin?"

Alec nodded but his eyes were on his sketch pad.

"Yeah- I know this- came out of n-nowhere- I just- I just realized that I've never heard you play before and- forget it- it kind of sounds stupid now." His skin became an even darker shade of red.

Magnus suddenly felt a hollow ache in his chest.

The way Alec was so quick to doubt himself and automatically assume that no one wanted to hear what he had to say physically hurt. Who made him feel this way? Who had taken his confidence and crushed it until almost nothing as left? Magnus wanted to reassure him, wanted to shower him with every praise and compliment that he could think of if he thought that Alec would actually listen.

"No-no, it's not stupid, sweetheart. In fact, I've been meaning to show you something that I wrote for you. I've been waiting for the right time to show you but I guess this time is as good as any other."

And the look that crossed Alec's face was so flattered, his whole face lit up with the light of the sun and it was one of the most beautiful sights Magnus had ever seen in his life.

He quickly set down his book and scrambled off the bed to grab his violin, tied his hair up in a messy bun, and fit his jaw into the chin rest. Alec's eyes were so big and bright and were looking at him as if he would be still be impressed if the whole composition was just the sound of all of the strings snapping at the same time.

Magnus closed his eyes as his fingers ran along the strings. They were practically twitching from holding themselves back. They had played this tune so many times that it was now a part of him, taking up space in his bones and running through his veins. He opened his eyes to meet bright azure ones that had grown to become as familiar to him as if they had been a part of his life for years.

He finally started to play, his notes long and slow describing the way his love life had become boring and monotonous. Before there was a sudden high note-the panic at hitting this beautiful man in the head with a football. The notes grew louder, higher pitched, and faster, almost frantic in a way. They described the amusement and the excitement of spending time with Alec, talking to him, kissing those beautiful lips. He felt so different with Alec in his life. Everything felt brighter and happier than they had ever been. And it showed in this piece. It showed in the way his eyes had slid closed by their own accord and his body had taken over.

His composition eventually came to an end and breathing a bit heavily he dropped the violin into his lap. He opened his eyes again to find Alec looking so overwhelmed that Magnus was a bit concerned that he would pass out.

Magnus tried to smile reassuringly and leaned forward to press their lips together. It was quick and gentle just enough to group himself- playing had left him feeling exposed like he had been rubbed raw. So much emotion had gone into his composition. Emotions that he wanted to let Alec know about but was also terrified to give voice to.

So he settled for different, safer, words. "What did you think?"

Alec looked at a loss of what to say for a moment before speaking. The words came out in a rush as if they were in a race to see which could make it out of the man's moth first but Magnus understood him well enough. "It was beautiful. You're beautiful."

Before Magnus could respond, he held up his sketchbook and drawn out in a careful hand was a picture of- him. Him with his hair falling out of his bun and his eyes closed and looking at peace. Magnus had no shortage of self confidence, he knew that he looked good, but seeing himself like this- he looked almost other worldly.

Magnus couldn't help his sudden intake of breath. "This drawing is beautiful."

He put his violin back in its case and placed it on the floor before crawling back over to the corner of his bed that Alec had commandeered. He threw his arm around the man's shoulders and leaned in a bit to get a better look. It was even greater, if that was even freaking possible, up close. Magnus seriously had no idea how Alec was not a famous artist- he was incredible.

He turned his head to press a kiss to the man's temple. "Thank you. For coming over." He spoke against the pale skin.

Alec let out an amused sound and looked at him. His eyes were sparking and he had a soft smile on his lips. "It's not like it was some inconvenience on my part to come over here. I- I really like spending time with you."

The man's cheeks reddened a little but his eyes stayed locked on Magnus'.

Magnus felt his heart pick up in his chest. "I really like spending time with you too, Alexander."

Well, he more than _liked_ spending time with Alec but he couldn't say the other 'l' word just yet. He didn't want to end up freaking the other man out so he could wait, there was no reason to rush things.

He had never felt so strongly about someone in his entire life. He had been in love before but he had never met someone that seemed to be as perfect for him as Alec did. They hadn't even known each other for that long but he knew, he could tell that even if he lived to be four hundred years old, he would never meet someone that could ever hold a candle to the man that was currently in his arms.

Alec kissed his jaw before resting his head in the crook of Magnus' neck.

They stayed like that for a while before Alec went back to his sketches and Magnus returned to trying, and failing, to read.

Alec would probably have to spend all of tomorrow coloring his commissions if he wanted them completed on time and Magnus had to be up early for- the now dreaded- morning practice.

But neither of them focused on that. Instead, when Alec started yawning and stretching himself out along the length of the bed, Magnus asked him if he wanted to stay the night and Alec agreed.

* * *

**A/N: So how was that? I'm kind of conflicted tbh so let me know what you think! **

**Leave me comments- they make me feel great I love them to much! **

**See y'all next time! **

**-Alexandermylove **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: So it would appear that my schedule only allows me to update once a month. I'll try to work on it but you know- school sucks and takes up all my time.**

**I hit some milestones this month:**

**1\. It has officially been one year since I started this story! Can you believe it? I can't!**

**2\. I reached 4,000 followers on Tumblr!**

**Thanks for being here with me for a year and actually reading my stuff. I would have stopped a long time ago if I didn't have your support and I'm so so happy that I do.**

**With that being said, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter and I probably should have waited for it to be beta-ed before I posted but it's too late now. **

**So on that note, enjoy the newest Heronstairs chapter:**

* * *

Will had sat in the front row.

He kept trying to reassure himself that this wasn't weird, or creepy, or stalker-y despite how many times his roommates tried to tease him.

This was a normal occurrence, this was nothing out of the ordinary for Will- he always attended Magnus' concerts, always sat in the front row, always acted as if each time was his first time and was always amazed by the performances. What wasn't normal was the fact that he wasn't only there for Magnus. He had lied through his teeth about the second reason he wanted to attend and even though he had tried, he couldn't lie to himself.

He had done this so many times that he had since lost count so how was this possibly the first time that he had seen Jem up there performing next to Magnus? The silver haired man was so vibrant and full of life, it made no sense for Will to not already know him. It made no sense that his roommate and best friend that he had grown up with had not introduced them.

So because of that, Will could barely focus on Magnus. Jem was just so poised and composed and it was almost a magical experience being able to watch him lose himself in the music.

And Ragnor, who was always sitting in the front row with Will whenever Magnus had a local concert, kept shooting him amused looks.

Will couldn't really find it in himself to be annoyed, he knew that he was acting a bit ridiculous but ridiculous worked for him sometimes. There was even a moment when he could have sworn that Jem looked down at him from the stage and smiled slightly between songs but that might have been Will's mind filling in a few details.

The concert ended and Will and Ragnor got up to file out with the other people exiting the concert hall. But instead of leaving they snuck into the dressing rooms. 'Snuck' being the operative word considering that they had done it so many times that the directors had since stopped caring. Yet another reason why it made no damn sense as to why he had never met Jem- where had he been hiding whenever Will was in here?

They walked into the room that was set aside for the violinists and Will's eyes scanned over all the people but did not find anyone with silver hair.

It was easy to find Magnus though.

He had taken off his jacket, rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt up, and taken his hair out of the neat bun so that his gray tips were on full display. He was talking- perhaps flirting?- to a tall man with white hair and bright eyes that flashed purple whenever the light hit them.

He and Ragnor waited while he finished talking.

Will found himself picking at the binding that held all the stems together.

Where was Jem? What if he was too late and the man had already left?

He supposed that he could play it all off as if he had just gotten them for Magnus.

Eventually their friend wondered over to them and his green eyes immediately zeroed in on the bouquet in Will's hands.

"Aww, flowers? Darling, you shouldn't have."

"It's a good thing I didn't then." Shit. Well now it was too late to act like he hadn't been thinking of Jem non-stop since he last saw him practicing in his living room last week.

"Then who- oh." Magnus started off sounding confused but his voice soon changed to amusement and he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"It's not like that." Will supplied quickly.

"Then what's it like? Are you trying to say that those flowers aren't for Jem?" He hated the tone that Magnus was using. It was the tone that Ella and Cece used when they had him cornered.

"Yes. No. No, I'm not trying to say that. Yes, they're for him. Happy now?" His friends started to laugh as if he were the funniest person on the planet and he groaned. He usually didn't get like this.

"Yeah, I know I'm hilarious now can you kindly show me where I can find him so I can actually give these to him?"

Magnus smiled at him again before running a hand through his long hair and gesturing for Will to follow.

"He's in another dressing room." Magnus explained. "There's no way all of us would be able to fit into one."

Multiple dressing rooms. Now it was starting to make sense. The only other option was that Jem was a very beautiful phantom that only appeared when he wanted to.

Magnus led him into a room down the hall. It was filled with people that looked vaguely familiar, some that he remembered seeing up on stage, and some that Magnus might have introduced him to, all talking and in various stages of undress. A tall man shifted out of the way and ended up revealing Jem, sitting down with his tie hanging loose around his neck and his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Will felt his heart painfully skip skip a beat in his chest.

Magnus strode forward and he followed a couple of steps behind, still trying to decide on the right thing to say. He didn't even get Magnus flowers and they were practically brothers.

"Hey Jem." It was too late to come up with a game plan, Magnus was already speaking and Jem was already looking up and smiling and being way more beautiful than one person should have a right to be. "You remember my roommate, Will, right?"

"Or course." Jem responded and then he was directing his smile to Will. "Hello."

It should not be possible for one smile to make him feel as if they were connected. Make him feel like he wouldn't mind getting lost in Jem's silver eyes or listening to his soft voice for hours at a time. There was something about Jem that stirred some weird feeling inside of him and Will didn't know if he could even use words to accurately describe what it was.

"Hi-" Will finally answered, the complete opposite of eloquent.

Magnus snorted and Will wanted to send murder glares in his friend's direction but couldn't in front of Jem. He couldn't wait until Magnus found someone that he fancied- Will was going to embarrass him to no end.

"I'm going to go change." His roommate stated. "Find us when you're ready."

Will nodded wordlessly and Magnus took that as a sign to make himself scarce.

"These are for you." He spoke as soon as his friend was out of ear shot and held out the bouquet.

Jem took it into his long thin fingers and his smile grew, leaving Will feeling a bit breathless. "Wow. Thank you, these are lovely. What kind are they?"

Will smiled in return, feeling relief at Jem's reaction. "They're amaryllises. I'm glad you like them."

Jem leaned against the dressing table behind him, the smile never leaving his face. "You know, I actually can't remember the last time someone gave me flowers."

Will rested his hip against the table as well. "Really? I find it a bit hard to believe that someone that looks like you isn't beating off all of your admirers with a stick."

Jem laughed. "Nope. The only admirer I have is my cat and even then, he only really likes me when I'm giving him food so-"

"That's too bad for everyone who's missing out. Not so much for me because that means I have no competition." Jem's smile dimmed slightly and a small furrow began to form between his silver eyebrows but instead of shutting Will up, it just made him keep talking like an idiot. "Do you want to join my friends and I for drinks? We're leaving after Magnus finishes changing."

Now his smile completely faded and Will felt his stomach drop through the floorboards. "I'd like that but Will, I'm not looking for a relationship right now."

"Neither am I." He responded immediately even though it was a lie. But his friends kept insisting that he was still hung up on Tessa, what was one more person who believed it as well? "Now that we've gotten that established, we can still work toward being friends right?"

Jem looked so abashed that Will almost wanted to take it back but it was too late now. "I'm sorry I- I thought-" Jem started but Will was quick to cut him off.

"No. It's fine you don't have to explain."

But dammit if Jem's rejection didn't hurt.

* * *

In the present, they were at Coney Island.

It was a very long story about how they had ended up there involving Alec's little brother, Max, having a crush on one of his schoolmates. A plan that hadn't originally involved him but as soon as he has heard the words 'Coney island' he had immediately included himself.

And of course he wasn't going to not drag his boyfriend along.

And then if he and Magnus were going they had to tell Ragnor.

Who wanted to bring his kinda sorta girlfriend Catarina.

He supposed that he would have felt bad about superimposing so many people into Alec's plan and Max's day if he hadn't found out that the same thing had happened on the other end of the spectrum. Turns out Alec's other siblings, Jace and Isabelle, also loved Coney Island and had invited their significant others along as well.

So maybe it was quite a lot of extra people but even Max's crush had brought along an extra person, so they couldn't really be blamed.

Will loved Coney Island, had since the first time he and his friends had visited it many years prior. He hadn't been since he started dating Jem. Purely coincidental at first. He just hadn't had the time. And then when it had been brought up, he found out that his boyfriend couldn't really go on many rides anyway due to some medical condition or another.

Maybe after that it had continued to be a coincidence- he didn't have the time, or the time didn't permit them to. But they were here now. And he still loved it with as much fervor as he had the first time. Thinking back, the last time he had gone had been with Tessa.

It had been a very bright, very hot day but that hadn't stopped them. They had rode the Tilt-a-Whirl and the Cyclone and all the other roller coasters until they could barely keep themselves upright. He remembers his face hurting by the time they finally left because of all the smiling he had done that day.

And shit- maybe _that_ was the real reason why he hadn't been in so long.

Even though they wouldn't be able to go on rides together, he was perfectly fine and content walking around and talking and eating terrible food as long as Jem was there to share the day with. And that might make him sound like a sap but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

They were walking with their fingers laced together. They had bought some cotton candy and Will held it in his free hand occasionally bringing it up to his or Jem's lips. And of course every now and then he would substitute the cotton candy for his lips which made Jem roll his eyes but he still complied nonetheless.

In that moment he couldn't think of anything that would be better than Jem's smile, his thumb rubbing circles into the back of Will's hand, the sound of him laughing at one of Will's stupid jokes.

He was so distracted that he didn't notice Alec and co.- which was down to him, Magnus, and his brother Jace at this point, until they practically crashed into them.

"I think that sounds more like something Will would be up to." Magnus was saying.

Will turned his head at the mention of his name and inserted himself into the conversation. "What sounds like something I would do?"

"Oh-" Alec startled at their sudden appearance but quickly smiled at them. "Jace just challenged us to see who could ride the Cyclone the most times without throwing up-"

"So I suggested you," Magnus picked up. "Because it sounded so much like one of your plans that I almost thought I was talking to you for a moment."

He raised an eyebrow, promoting his roommate to continue.

"Because of the sheer amount of stupidity behind it."

"Hey-" He and Jace both started indignantly but were soon drowned out by Alec, Magnus, and Jem's laughter.

"Forget you guys." Jace turned his back on his brother to face Will. "Are you up for it?"

He was up for it. He hadn't rode the Cyclone in way too long. But Jem- he turned his head to the face the silver haired man.

His boyfriend just smiled encouragingly and waved him off. "Go be stupid and have fun."

After giving Jem a quick peck on the cheek he went off with Jace.

While waiting in line he found that he really liked Alec's younger brother. They both liked superheroes and classic movies but what really made them hit it off was their mutual interest in martial arts. Turns out his birth father had made him start practicing as soon as he got out of his toddler years and he had continued it even after being adopted by the Lightwoods. Will had also started young and he now taught it a couple nights a week at the local martial arts school. They made plans to spar one day in the immediate future between rides on the Cyclone.

They rode the coaster seven times, a new record for him, before he finally won. He was in the middle of giving Jace shit for having a weak stomach before he also found himself puking up all of the food he had consumed that day.

He was dizzy as hell and the puking had been a bit gross but it had also been a lot of fun and he was glad that he had gotten to do it.

After they got their bearings together, Jace spotted his girlfriend and they made plans to ride the ferris wheel while Will set off to find Jem.

He sent off a quick text asking Jem where he was but it went unanswered.

It wasn't an uncommon occurrence. Jem sometimes forgot to charge his phone or even just forgot to bring it with him at all. It bothered Will, especially since he had the tendency to turn into a worried mother hen, something that Magnus and Ragnor teased him about to no end, but he had learned to deal with it.

But he also could have sworn that he had seen Jem with his phone today.

So he texted Magnus instead and it was answered in all of thirty seconds. Will found him in front of a food stand, sharing a carton of fries with Alec.

"Where's Jem?" He asked them.

"Bathroom." Magnus gestured to the bathroom in front of them and shrugged nonchalantly but the corners of his eyes looked tight and Will could see the concern in them.

Shit.

Jem had looked pale today but he didn't seem tired and he had eaten at the park. But had he eaten breakfast? Will should have asked. Jem hated when he did that but he should have done it anyway.

He wanted to ask Magnus how long Jem had been in there. He wanted to ask if something had happened at practice or maybe on tour that the two of them hadn't told him about. In the beginning of their relationship they had kept things from him to try to prevent him from worrying too much but soon realized that it just made him worry more.

But he didn't ask.

Alec was here and there was no reason to make Magnus' new boyfriend worry too.

So he plastered on a smile and stole a couple of their fries before saying, "You guys go ahead. I'll wait for him." He popped the fries into his mouth but they tasted like dirt. He kept chewing anyway.

They left without question.

Will entered the restroom. It was empty, all the stalls unoccupied save for the handicap one.

He knocked on the door. "Darling? Are you in there?"

For a long moment there was nothing but silence. Will's teeth worried the corner of his lip as he tried not to picture Jem being passed out on the floor.

But then finally: "Yeah. I'm here."

He let out the breath he had been holding. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

There was another period of silence but it didn't last nearly as long this time. Instead of Jem's words breaking it this time, it was broken by the silver haired man opening the door.

Will's eyes widened as he took in the ghost pale, clammy skin and the small smudge of blood beneath the aristocratic nose.

He rushed into the stall and practically crowded Jem up against the wall. "What happened?" He couldn't hide the slight panic in his tone.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Jem tried to reassure him but his voice was quiet and tired sounding. "I came in here to use the bathroom but then my nose started bleeding and I felt a bit fatigued."

That didn't help to relieve any of his worry. He rested his hand on one of his boyfriend's pale cheeks. He felt hot. "Jem, are you-?"

"No." Jem's hand also came up to rest on top of Will's. "I really am fine, I just need to rest."

"I'll take you home." He immediately offered.

"You don't have to."

"I want to." He always wanted to help Jem.

"But what about Ragnor and Catarina?" The tall man tried to reason. Will had driven them there but he also trusted that they would be able to figure it out.

"They can take a taxi back. Let me take you home."

Jem looked like he wanted to argue more but he must have seen that Will wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer so he simply sighed and huffed out a resigned sounding: "Fine."

There was now someone else in the bathroom but Will sent him a quick glare to make sure he didn't comment on them walking out of the stall together.

Jem washed his hands and his face to clean off the leftover blood.

Will led him out of the bathroom and out of the park, his hand around the thin man's waist the whole time. Maybe it was to help keep Jem upright and maybe it was because he wanted to be reassured that Jem was fine and feel the steady in, out rhythm of his breathing underneath his hand.

* * *

Jem had fallen asleep almost as soon as his head had hit the pillow. Will had occupied the rocking chair next to the bed and picked up with David Copperfield from where he left off the last time he was in Jem's apartment. He had just finished completely skipping over the section that included Dora Spenlow's death when he heard Jem stirring.

He dropped the book into his lap and cracked his neck to get rid of some of the stiffness that had come from holding the same position for a couple of hours.

When he looked at Jem, the man's skin still looked pale but not as near translucent as it had been before. So Will was prepared to take that as a good sign.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

Jem yawned and rubbed at his eyes. "Come here?" He asked instead of answering Will's question.

But Will didn't comment on it in favor of getting up from the chair and climbing into the bed. Jem curled up against his chest and Will wrapped his arm around the familiar thin shoulders and breathed in the equally familiar scent.

"I'm sorry that I ruined our day together." Jem spoke again, his breath tickling the skin of Will's neck.

"Hey- no, you didn't." He rubbed reassuring circles into Jem's shoulder and kissed the top of his silver head. "We still got to spend the day together didn't we?"

"But I know how much you love Coney Island."

"I do." He spoke against Jem's hair. "But I love you more so I'm not upset."

Jem hummed in acknowledgement and the conversation dissolved into silence again. It lasted for so long that he suspected Jem had fallen asleep again before he got a chance to say what he had wanted to ever since Magnus had looked at him with concerned green eyes.

He straightened his position. "Sweetheart?"

Jem raised his head so that his silver eyes could meet Will's own blue ones. "Yes?"

"You would- you would tell me if something were happening with you, right?"

He trusted that Jem would know exactly what he was referring to.

Jem sat up. "Will-" His long musician's fingers framed Will's face, his thumbs rubbing little circles into his cheekbones. "Of course I would. You know that."

Will took Jem's hands into his own and kissed both of his boyfriend's palms. "I do. I just- you scared me today."

The little things happening in separate, isolated events were fine but when they started to stack on top of each other and point toward one big thing, that was when he really started to get worried. But his worry was justified.

Jem leaned forward and pressed their lips together. It was short kiss but it still made his heart flutter in his chest nonetheless. "I appreciate your concern but I really am fine, okay? I'll tell you if I need to change my medicine dosage or if I start to relapse but for now, I'm alright. I'm not going anywhere."

Will leaned forward to kiss him again and while they sunk down onto the mattress with Jem on top of him he tried to ignore how Jem had said 'for now'.

* * *

**A/N: What did you think? I'll have it edited eventually but hopefully nothing _too_ horrible stood out to you guys. **

**Don't forget to follow, favorite, and subscribe!**

**-Alexandermylove**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Well damn it has been a while my friends. I've said this before and I'll say it again: school sucks so much. It really kicked my ass this semester but I'm finally done! So here is chapter 17! **

**It covers *a lot* and you get to see more of Alec's relationship with his siblings and their significant others and even a bit about Magnus and his adoptive family. **

**Just a PSA: I have never been to Coney Island/ Luna Park so bear with me here. Even if there isn't a Ferris Wheel let's just pretend there is, okay? Besides, I think you won't be so worried about the (non)existence of the ride once you read about what happens on it: **

* * *

Alec stopped the ball with his foot before it could roll into the 'goal' that was the space between two trees.

He was in Central Park playing soccer with Max and the game was tied. His little brother was good. He was fast and able to think well on his feet, but Alec was good too- he'd been on the varsity team in both high school and college so he was able to hold his own.

Every time one of them scored a goal, the other one was right behind. It was a good game and when they finally decided to call it a draw, Alec was panting and covered in sweat.

They sat down on the grass to enjoy the pleasant afternoon sunlight. Max read one of his manga's and Alec picked the book that he'd been reading the day Magnus knocked him unconscious with a football.

It was quiet and peaceful in way that it never was around his other siblings. He obviously loved all of them, but sometimes Jace and Izzy's big personalities could be a bit overwhelming. Max had enough personality to fill up a room no doubt, but he was also calm and contained for someone so young. He was the balance and stability that Alec needed sometimes.

Of course there were times when it was hard to relate to each other and do things together because of the nine year age gap between them, but it was inconsequential. Alec's youngest brother was more like him than his other siblings could ever be. Alec loved spending time with him, loved talking to him, and keeping track of what was going on in his life.

Which is why when Max's phone buzzed and his face immediately lit up, Alec couldn't hide his interest.

He waited patiently as his brother typed out his reply before speaking.

"Who's that?" He asked carefully, keeping his face angled toward his book but watching out of the corner of his eye.

His brother's eyes widened for a second and the tips of his ears went pink.

That was an interesting response.

"Um- n-no one?" Max stuttered out.

Alec snorted and looked up to meet his little brother's wide blue eyes. "You don't sound very convincing."

Max scratched the back of his neck as he tried to think of something to say and Alec recognized the mannerism as something he did himself when he was stalling.

"It's just one of my friends from school." But Max wasn't really meeting his eyes so Alec wasn't satisfied.

"A friend or 'a friend'?"

Distantly, Alec suspected that he had never sounded more like Izzy in his entire life.

"No! It's not like that." Max insisted, but his pink cheeks gave him away.

Alec almost felt bad for his teasing but he was Max's older brother so it was practically his job and he had since lost count of how many times he had been teased about his own love life.

"So what's it like then?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Max groaned and dropped his head into his hands before lifting it again and spewing out a long stream of words without taking a breath. "Her name is Livvy. She's in the year ahead of me. We're on the same soccer team. But we're just friends. And not that type of friend."

"But do you like her?" Alec asked, softer this time, no longer teasing.

"I don't know. Maybe?" He looked up at Alec from between his fingers, his eyes showing confusion and distress.

Alec ruffled his hair.

Maybe.

He could work with maybe.

"I think I might have a plan."

* * *

Max didn't seem too upset over the fact that the plan had grown to the point of including everyone, everyone's mother, and everyone's mother's second cousin.

Izzy and Jace had tagged along and brought their significant others with them.

Alec told Magnus, who told Jem and Ragnor, who then proceeded to tell Catarina. Apparently Coney Island was Magnus and his brother's favorite place in all of New York. They had gone their first weekend of being in America and instantly fallen in love with it so there was no way he could have tried to stop them from coming.

In fact, Livvy had even brought along her twin brother- which deterred the plan of the two teenagers being able to spend some quality alone time together but apparently the twins were attached at the hip so Max wasn't as put off as Alec probably would have been.

He had driven them all there and it had been quite the interesting experience. The three teenagers had sat in the back seat, Ty in the middle with his headphones in, while Max and Livvy made conversation about soccer and fencing and television with Ty occasionally commenting.

Alec spent the whole ride dividing his attention between the road, the three of them, and Magnus's hand holding his and rubbing circles into the back of it over the gear shift.

As soon as they had paid to get in and bought their tickets, Max and the twins began to hurry off. Alec had to yell to remind Max about checking in every couple of hours and Max turned around just long enough to flash him a thumbs up before disappearing into the crowd.

Alec sighed but he wasn't overly worried, he trusted his brother to not to do anything too stupid.

Magnus intertwined their fingers. "Have I already told you how much I love your siblings?" He swung their arms together.

"You might have mentioned it a few times." Alec said smiling before he remembered something. "But you have more siblings than I do, right? You've barely told me about them."

"I haven't?" Alec shook his head. "Huh-well you've already met Ragnor and Will. On top of them I also have two sisters: Ella and Cecily. Technically they're Will's biological sisters. Ella's the eldest. She's really sweet and kind, always trying to make sure that everyone is happy, she's kind of like our second mother. Cece is younger than all of us- she takes after Will which was never a good thing- but she's starting to grow out of it."

Alec laughed and asked to hear more. So Magnus continued to speak. He put his arm around Alec's shoulder and they walked around the amusement park sharing stories about his sisters. Alec was practically crying as Magnus recounted a story about how Ella had to save Will from an 'evil' duck and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend's waist just to keep himself upright.

It wasn't that Alec had never had this before. It wasn't that he had never been touched or kissed or shown affection by another human being. But it had never felt like this. It had never looked like this. It was still so weird for Magnus to have no qualms about showing affection and letting Alec know how much he liked him.

Which was new.

But not bad.

They ended up passing by Max and the twins and Alec couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at seeing his little brother. He and Livvy were standing close to each other and laughing, Ty was at his sister's side and his eyes were glued to the screen of his phone but his lips showed that he was amused by the conversation happening around him.

Magnus squeezed Alec's fingers and sighed in happiness. "Ah- young love. So pure."

Max spotted them and waved. They waved back before disappearing among the crowd once again.

A couple of hours later they also ran into Jace. "Alec! Just the person I was looking for!"

Alec raised an eyebrow at his brother's wicked looking smile. Alec didn't like that look. That was the look he had worn right before he had stripped to his underwear and then started running through the busy New York streets screaming about fairies. Alec still didn't know the reason behind it yet and he wasn't sure that he ever wanted to.

"Shouldn't you be looking for your girlfriend instead?"

And speaking of Clary, Alec liked her. She was spit-fire enough to handle Jace's personality while also acting as the calming force that he had always needed. He realizes that he probably wouldn't have felt the same way if Jace had started dating her when Alec had still believed that he was in love with him. He probably would have been jealous of the way he looked at her like she was water in the desert.

Jace had never looked at him like that. Jace had never hinted in any way that he might have been romantically interested in Alec. But Alec had still managed to fall in love with him- or at least convince himself that he was.

Jace had just been so amazing at literally everything that he put his mind to whether it be with music, with art, with their martial arts classes. It was hard not to fall for him. But looking at him now, Alec felt nothing more than brotherly affection.

Jace shrugged. "I know where she is. But that's not important right now-let's ride the Cyclone until we throw up like we used to when we were kids."

Alec had only done that as a last ditch effort to get Jace to like him back and the only thing he had gotten for his efforts was dizzy and mildly disgusted at throwing up.

Alec looked at Magnus before looking back at his little brother. "I think I'll pass this time."

Jace groaned but it was good-naturedly. "What about you Magnus?"

His boyfriend made a humming sound. "I think that sounds more like something Will would be up to."

"What sounds like something I would do?" Came a deeply accented voice from just in front of them.

Alec started at the sudden appearance of Will and Jem but smiled at them nonetheless.

"Oh-Jace just challenged us to see who could ride the Cyclone the most times without throwing up-"

"So I suggested you," Magnus continued for him. "Because it sounded so much like one of your plans that I almost thought I was talking to you for a moment."

Will raised a dark eyebrow in question.

"Because of the sheer amount of stupidity behind it." Magnus finished.

"Hey-" He and Jace both started indignantly but were cut off by the sound of Alec, Magnus, and Jem's laughter.

"Forget you guys." Jace turned his back on Alec to face Will. "Are you up for it?"

It turns out that Magnus was right and Will seemed all too ready to join Jace on the Cyclone. He stayed there long enough to kiss Jem on the cheek before practically sprinting away-probably to get to the roller coaster first.

Jem turned to Magnus. "So have you gotten down the-" Alec didn't recognize the word at the end of the sentence.

Magnus snorted and from there they launched into a conversation that involved a bunch of musical terms that might as well have been another language.

Until it actually did transition into another language. It started with a few words here and there until it completely changed over at the drop of a hat and Alec just stood there with his eyebrows practically at his hairline as it was happening.

He had always known that Magnus spoke another language but he had yet to figure it out. Perhaps now he had found his answer.

"Sorry," Jem smiled at him after about two minutes of music talk. "Music makes the most sense to me in Mandarin."

Mandarin. Alec made a mental note to bring it up later. "No I get it." Alec assured them. "There are things that sound better to me in Spanish, too."

Jem's smile turned appreciative. "So Alec, are you coming to our home concerts next month?"

Alec looked at Magnus, who was't looking at him, and then back to Jem. "Concerts?" He hadn't heard anything about concerts.

"Oh-" Jem and Magnus were looking at each other weirdly as if they were having a whole conversation with their eyes alone. "Sorry, I assumed you knew about them."

Magnus took Alec's hand, bringing Alec's attention back to him. "I was waiting until the opening night got a bit closer but yes, we're going to have a string of concerts throughout August."

Alec had seen Magnus play but never as part of a group. The way he spoke about his orchestra with evident fondness in his voice, and the way he still had a smile on his face even after having to practice all day long-Alec really wanted to see it. But was there a different reason why Magnus hadn't told him yet? A reason why Magnus' head had snapped up at the mention of the word 'concert' and looked at Jem as if he could will the word out of existence?

"It's alright if you-" He started. He didn't want Magnus to feel guilted into inviting him. But he was cut off.

"No, darling don't even finish that sentence." Magnus brought Alec's knuckles up to his lips and kissed them. "Of course I want you there. I can even get you tickets for your siblings if they want to come as well."

Alec felt heat rise into his cheeks. He was psyching himself out for nothing. Magnus didn't have a reason for not inviting him sooner other than the one he had given. He was acting ridiculous.

"Alright." He said because he couldn't think of any other response and his boyfriend leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek.

He looked over to Jem to see if he was bothered by all of the PDA but the silver haired man didn't look phased at all and simply flashed them another kind smile.

After that, they continued to walk around the park- Alec getting to know more about Jem and how he and Magnus interacted with each other. They had know each other for years, they had been roommates at Juilliard, worked in the same orchestra, and now that Jem was dating his brother, they were practically family as well. It showed in their easy smiles and the way they seemed to know exactly what the other wanted to say-even when they weren't actually saying any of it outloud.

They continued to walk around the park. As they did Alec received sporadic texts from Jace containing nothing more than simple numbers but he understood their meaning all the same. The most recent one was the number 7.

They were about to ride the Cyclone for the seventh time.

When he informed his companions Magnus let out a low whistle. "How did they manage to ride it so many times? They haven't even been gone for an hour and a half."

Alec shrugged. "Jace is really good at charming people."

Jem simply nodded as if he expected nothing less. "I'm surprised that with Will there, they haven't managed to double that number."

And it happened almost as if someone had flipped a light switch; Alec looked down for a moment to respond to his brother and by the time he looked back up again Jem's bright smile had dimmed and his skin had grown so pale that is was nearly translucent and Alec could see you he dark veins at his temples.

"I'm going to pop into the bathroom really quickly. Excuse me." With that the silver haired man began to hurry away from them as if he couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough.

Alec wasn't sure whether or not he should be concerned. When he looked at Magnus and saw tightness in the corners of his boyfriend's eyes he felt like he should be but before he could say anything, Magnus was taking his hand and pulling him away.

"Let's get some fries, love."

Alec let himself be pulled.

Shortly after they have procured the fries, they were met by Will.

"Who won?" Magnus asked his roommate.

"Me obviously." Will rolled his eyes as if it should have been obvious and stole some of their fries. "Where's Jem?"

"Bathroom." Magnus nodded toward the restroom in front of them.

The friends shared a glance before Will stole some more of their fries and told them to go ahead.

Magnus led them away again.

"Do you think Jem's okay?" Alec asked. All of the secret glances had not gone over his head as they probably wanted them to.

"Yeah. He will be. Don't worry about it." Magnus assured him and continued to lead them through the park, for the first time today he seemed to have a destination in mind instead of just wanting to aimlessly wander.

"I know we agreed to not go on rides today but it's always worth it to go on the Ferris wheel. Are you up for it?" Magnus asked after a moment and he looked so excited that Alec didn't have it in him to say 'no.'

Not that he would have wanted to in the first place.

So that is how they ended up at the top of the Ferris wheel with Alec's head on Magnus' shoulder and his boyfriend's long fingers carding through his hair. The sun was just starting to go down, bathing everything in a beautiful golden orange color. The moment felt perfect. He couldn't think of a single thing that could improve it.

He closed his eyes so he could just take everything in and revel in the moment but they soon flew open at Magnus' next words.

"I love you."

Alec froze.

Magnus just kept stroking his hair as if nothing had just happened.

He lifted his head to meet Magnus' eyes and they were brighter than he had ever seen them before while his lips were set in a small, barely there smile.

"What did you just say?" He had heard his boyfriend very clearly the first time but he needed to hear it again. Just to be sure.

Magnus' smile grew and he leaned forward.

"I said," he spoke, voice soft and his lips against Alec's right cheek even softer.

"That I,"

He kissed the left cheek.

"Am in love,"

Right temple.

"With you,"

Left temple.

"Alexander."

And the last kiss was to his lips.

It was sweet and as soft as the rest of them and made Alec's heart beat so hard and fast that he couldn't hear anything else. Finally, after a few more kisses Magnus pulled away and smiled again. "Do I need to repeat it again? Because I'm prepared to."

Alec shook his head wordlessly and then pressed his forehead against the soft skin of Magnus' neck. Keeping eye contact would probably make him lose his nerve.

"I love you, too."

If he thought his heart was loud before, it was nothing compared to how it was now. It hurt from how hard it was pounding against his breastbone. He hoped they he had said it loud enough. Having to repeat it would probably give him a heart attack.

Magnus put one hand back into his hair and the other around his waist and Alec knew his worry was for naught. He tightened his own grip and squeezed, maybe a bit too much but Magnus didn't seem to mind. Which was good.

He wasn't planning on letting go any time soon.

* * *

**A/N: *gasp* they finally said I love you to each other! **

**I hoped you liked this. If you did please please please comment! I'd be way more motivated to write if I knew that I still had readers- it's been a while so let me know y'all are still here and I'm not just screaming (writing?) into the void. **

**Alexandermylove**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Holy fucking shit. Guess who's back with a new chapter? It's been a long ass time and for that, I am really sorry but I finally started college and all of my free time flew out the window. I really wish I had a fluffy chapter for you guys or even just a chapter that had Alec in it but sadly, I do not. This one is all about Magnus and Camille because I got to get this plot moving if I ever want to finish this story. You might be a bit upset by it but just bear with me here. **

* * *

Practice was...interesting now, to say the least.

Magnus had been with the ITO for three years and he had felt exhausted, he had felt weary, he had been testy, short nerved, and annoyed but he had never dreaded having to go. He loved the orchestra. Playing professionally had been his dream for as long as he could fucking remember. He had moved around from family to family, country to country, and had to add and drop languages almost at the drop of a hat. But the one thing that had remained the same no matter where or what was music. Music was the thing that had kept him alive and happy when he had nothing else in the world. It had taken him nearly 14 years of being alive until he had found something else to hold onto. But even when he finally had a family, music had always been present, always encouraged, always there to comfort him when he started to feel overwhelmed.

And this was the second time Camille was trying to take all of that away from him.

He still remembered the first time they had met.

It had been the beginning of his Sophomore year at Juilliard. The sun had been blazing clear and bright and there wasn't a single cloud in the entire sky. At the time he had taken it as a good sign from God or the universe or fate or whatever else controlled what happened in the world. He had been early for practice for his string ensemble- something that he was still trying to get used to. Jem- his new roommate and fellow member of the ensemble was early for everything because clearly, he had never heard of being fashionably late or making an entrance. But since he had started following Jem's lead, he was getting fewer glares from their director so he supposed that was a plus even if it was a nuisance at times.

That day Jem had suggested they head over to practice a bit earlier than usual and even though Magnus had nothing better to do, he had still groaned the entire walk there. They still had a handful of minutes left and were tuning their violins when they were interrupted by a voice saying, "Excuse me?"

Magnus looked up from his instrument to meet the greenest pair of eyes that he had ever seen in his entire life.

They reminded him of long summer days spent laying out on the grass with his siblings back home. His chest tightened with an intense bout of sudden homesickness before he shook it off and took in the rest of the girl standing in front of him: her long eyelashes, her aristocratic nose that was covered with a smattering of freckles, her mouth that was painted such a bright red that it could rival Magnus' own, and her heart-shaped face that was framed with long blonde curls.

She was beautiful.

And Magnus was single.

"Hi," Magnus said putting on his best smile.

Jem jabbed him in the side with his elbow seeming to follow Magnus' thought process before it was even finished.

The girl didn't seem to notice.

"Hello- I just wanted to make sure I'm in the right room. This is where the second string ensemble practices, yes?" Her voice was high pitched and accented. The more she spoke, the more enamored Magnus began to feel.

"You would be correct in assuming so." He rose from his seat, put down his violin and began to move toward her.

Standing in front of her, he practically dwarfed her, her head barely even came up to his shoulder.

"I'm Magnus by the way."

"Camille." She put her small hand into his and he couldn't resist bringing it up to his lips and kissing the back of it.

"Welcome to our little cult." He said, gesturing vaguely toward the rest of the room with his free hand but not breaking eye contact.

She smiled up at him and he felt his heart skip a beat in his chest.

He didn't stand a chance against her.

* * *

As to be expected, Magnus took to her like a house on fire.

She was a Freshman and had never spent longer than a couple of days outside of Europe so after practice one day Magnus asked her if she wanted him to show her around the city. She had smiled that pretty smile of hers and after taking a moment to consider his offer, she agreed before walking out without a backward glance in his direction.

He spent days looking for the perfect outfit to wear for their first 'date'. He arranged and rearranged everything at least three times. On Tuesday, his shirt was the wrong shade of green, on Wednesday he decided that the pants he had chosen were not the right material for the aesthetic he was going for, on Thursday he tried on every single pair of shoes that he owned and it just went on and on until he was feeling half mad.

Finally, Jem just rolled his eyes and picked out an outfit seemingly at random but actually worked really well together.

By the time their date rolled around, all Magnus had to focus on was his hair and makeup which ended up taking twice as long as it usually did.

But he didn't mind. He took Cami to his favorite hole in the wall coffee shop that had bottomless refills and they sat and talked about music and school and Europe and drew on the tables until almost one in the morning.

Magnus fell for people easily. Became attached way too soon. It was something that had never made sense and that he probably should have dropped after the third time he had been uprooted from a home and made to move again but he never did.

When he was with Cami, it was like someone had taken that weakness and amplified it. She was the only thing he could think about, the only thing he wanted to talk about, the only way he wanted to spend his time.

They began to go out every weekend to find places that were new and exciting and romantic. During the week they would walk to practice together and meet up for meals and study together. When he wasn't with her, he wanted to be, and if he couldn't then he would talk about her endlessly. Something that amused and annoyed his friends to no end. Jem had an infinite amount of eye rolls and Will and Ragnor would only listen to him long enough to laugh at him before hanging up. In fact, it even reached a point where Ragnor stopped picking up his calls or answering his texts if they had anything to do with Camille.

But Magnus didn't even care. As long as Cami wanted him and needed him that was the only thing_ he_ wanted or needed.

There would be times when they or kissed or fucked or just spent extensive periods of time together that he would forget everything about himself. He would get lost in the deep expanses of her and never want to come back up to the surface. As the months went on that began to happen more and more until he wasn't even sure where her will ended and he actually began.

If she wanted something, he would do it, no questions asked.

She didn't like his glasses so he invested in contacts.

She didn't like his more flashy and sparkly clothing so they ended up migrating to the back of his closet.

He toned down his makeup.

He cut his hair and wore it slicked back.

If she needed him to go anywhere or do anything for her, he would drop pretty much everything to do it.

He was more of a lap dog than a lover but he didn't even notice. He thought he loved her and he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure she was happy.

Jem was the first of his friends to notice the changes in him and his groans and playful eye rolls became looks of weariness and words of concern.

Magnus did his best to block them all out.

He stopped calling his family as often and when he had to, he kept them as short as he possibly could because he didn't need their nagging or their concern as well.

He kept assuring himself that he and Cami would be fine but it became harder and harder with each passing day.

She would blatantly flirt with other people and check in with him to see if he was reacting the way she wanted him to. Magnus had never considered himself a jealous person before, but she left him seeing green every time they went to a party, every concert they had, hell, even every time he walked her to class. She would ignore him for days on end and then pop back into his life whenever she saw it was fit to do so because she knew she would be welcomed with open arms.

It was hard to sleep unless she was with him, he kept forgetting to eat unless the food was right in his face and felt moodier and angrier than he ever had in his entire life.

Jem, bless him for being such a good person, would constantly ask him if he was feeling alright and reminding him to take care of himself no matter how many times Magnus snapped at him. Will kept threatening to come down to his school and 'give her a piece of his mind.' His parents asked him multiple times if he wanted to transfer or take a semester off or see someone professionally.

That went on for the entire school year until she finally broke up with him and immediately started seeing someone else.

The only positive was that it had happened at the end of the year because he wasn't able to even look at his violin for months. Music was no solace for him.

Not when it reminded him too much of her.

* * *

When he had gotten back to school he had chosen to downgrade to the third string ensemble and damn near changed his entire schedule just so he wouldn't have to see her.

But he had gotten past it.

Even when Jem graduated and he still had a whole other year there it was easier because he knew that he would never have to see her once he was finished with school.

And yet, here she was trying to ruin his life again.

Practice was over for today and he was so exhausted.

Exhausted trying to avoid someone that he spent nearly every day with for hours at a time. Exhausted of having to pretend that her presence wasn't affecting him whenever he was forced to acknowledge her. Exhausted of having to keep all of this a secret from Alec, from his roommates, even from Jem because he still hadn't told a single person about what had happened at the club.

He walked down the hallway, trying to empty his mind of the past and opened the door to the dressing room.

Which he ended up regretting almost as soon as he did because none other than the very person he was trying to avoid was sitting at one of the tables, undoing the braid that her hair had been up in during practice.

Camille turned her head and smiled at him as if she had been waiting for him.

"Hello, Magnus."

Bloody hell. He didn't deserve this.

All he wanted was to get his damn jacket. He had accidentally left it in the dressing room a while ago and had only now remembered to pick it up. Clearly, fate or God or the universe had it in for him.

Maybe he should just forget about the jacket, turn around, and leave.

His left hand tightened around his violin case and he felt his heartbeat pick up.

"What do you want Camille?" He ground out and then forced himself to walk into the room.

He was not going to let her ruin his life. Not again. He needed to show her that she no longer had a hold on him. That he was over her and that he wasn't going to play her games.

But of course, she had always been able to cut through his resolve like a knife.

She got up from her chair and walked right up to him. She put her small hands on his chest and ran them down the length of his torso causing goosebumps to form in their wake.

"You've been avoiding me. Why?" Her voice was high pitched and pretty. She knew exactly what she was doing to him.

"You know damn well why." His voice came out quiet and strained. Her hands were moving back up, trailing a burning path to his shoulders.

"You're still on that?" She laughed at him. "We broke up years ago Magnus, one would think you'd be over it by now and ready to move on."

"I am-" His voice cracked as if he were a prepubescent teenager. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I am. Ready to move on I mean. Have been for years now. I'm even dating someone and he makes me really happy."

He let the words '_unlike you'_ hang unsaid in the air.

But she didn't acknowledge them. Instead, she just smiled again. "Oh wow, isn't that nice you've found a new little boy toy to play with?"

After Camille, he had slept around.

A lot.

And she knew this.

Apparently what she didn't know was that he wasn't like her. He had never 'played with' or 'toyed around' with anyone. He knew what that was like.

He shook his head and tried to back away from her. She simply took another step forward.

"No, it's not like that. I love him and I'm not going to let you ruin that."

"Ruin what? I'm not here to ruin anything. I'm just trying to follow our tradition."

Their tradition.

Magnus felt his stomach drop all the way to his toes.

When they had still been together and played in the same ensemble, they had shared a kiss the night before every performance for good luck.

But they couldn't. Not here. Not now. Not ever.

Never again.

"I can't." He took another step backward and another and another and another until his back hit the wall and the line of Camille's body was pressed up against him.

She looked up at him with her green eyes and for a second he was back in that practice room meeting her for the first time all over again.

"I can't." He repeated but the words were weak and sounded like he was trying to _remind_ _himself_ rather than ward her off.

"But you want to." She said it very simply in the same voice that had convinced him to cut off nine inches of his hair and stop using most of his makeup.

He didn't know what was wrong with him. What was it about her that made him want to throw all caution to the wind and forget about consequences?

Where could he locate the part that was still under her spell and how could he cut it out?

Because all it took was her saying, "What is the harm in one kiss?" And he was letting her bring his face down and was letting her kiss him. Letting himself kiss her back.

She had left him. She had made a pet out of him and then left him. If love were food, he would have starved on the bones she had given him and yet here he was, letting her back in _again _because he was weak and a small part of him would always love her.

There was the sound of a throat clearing and Magnus moved away from her as fast as if she were lighting him on fire.

Camille spared him one last wink before moving through the doorway and disappearing behind the person that had walked in on them.

The one person who understood the full scope of just how bad this entire situation was.

Jem.

Fuck.

Jem looked at him as if he was trying to figure out some kind of puzzle but didn't have enough pieces. "Can you please explain to me just what the fuck you think you're doing?"

Magnus had only heard Jem swear on a handful of occasions. Unlike Magnus and his siblings who cursed like sailors, he was too refined and saved those words for only the most extreme circumstances.

To hear him swear now, Magnus knew that he had royally fucked up.

"I was just looking for my jacket." He answered stupidly because he had no explanation for what he had been doing a couple of moments ago.

Jem snorted but Magnus could tell he found nothing about this situation funny. "Well, it definitely looked like you were doing more than that."

"Jem- I-" He what? He had no idea what the say. He was normally good with words but right now, all of them were failing him.

Jem sighed. "Magnus- I roomed with you for two years. I was there when you met her, I was there when you broke up, and I was there when you spent an entire year trying to act like it didn't happen. You are my best friend and I will support you no matter what, you know that, but right now I really don't understand you. Anyone who has been in the same room as you and Alec can see that you two are hopelessly in love. But you're here kissing _Camille_? Camille who broke your heart and left you without a second glance? Do you really want to ruin things between you and Alec so that you can go back to _her_?"

"No!" He practically shouted. "No, of course not. I'm not crazy. I just- I'm as confused as you are." He sighed and leaned back heavily against the wall. "She left me years ago and I thought I was over her, I really did. But then we went on our tour and the day you got sick, she showed up at the same club I was at and she kissed me there too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I thought that if I just acted as if nothing had happened, then it would be true. But then she started working here and now I just can't get her out of my head." He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes as if he could push her out that way.

"I hate her." He said because it was true. He loved and hated her at the same time. "You know I hate her but every time she's in front of me, it's like I turn into an 18-year-old all over again and I don't know what to do."

He pulled his hands away from his eyes and realized that they were growing misty. "And you're right about Alec. I can't hurt him. I think I would rather die than hurt him but I just don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do."

They moved forward at the same time. Jem wrapped his arms around him and Magnus buried his head in his friend's shoulder.

He felt horrible. He didn't know if he could do this anymore. If he had the strength and the energy to keep fighting against her (and losing) or if he should just give up and let her have the ITO while he looked for somewhere else to go.

"I think you should tell you should tell Alec." Jem finally spoke after letting Magnus rest against him for a couple of minutes. "He will understand as long as you tell him the truth."

Jem was right.

He should just talk to Alec. It was what he should have done as soon as he had gotten back.

Alec was kind and sweet and amazing. He made Magnus feel things that he never had in his entire life and he didn't deserve Magnus sneaking behind his back and hiding this from him.

Jem was right.

He should just talk to his boyfriend and clear everything up before it became too late.

Magnus really hoped it wasn't too late.

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**A/N: Whelp...there it is. Again, so sorry this couldn't be a happy one. If anyone wants to discuss Magnus' actions or thought processes, my PM is always open. **

**As always, make sure to follow, fav, and review! I have the next two chapters planned out and who kows, maybe I can get the next one posted within a decent time frame if you guys let me know you're interested. **

**-Alexandermylove**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hello Hello Hello lovely people who may or may not still be reading this story! As always, I wish I could update more often but I'm in college so I can pretty much only write when I'm on break. **

**Again, I wish this chapter could be fluff filled, I had originally planned a fluff chapter to go before this one but it didn't end up working so here we are instead: **

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Alec had been out since very early on in his high school days.

It had kind of just happened one night over dinner.

He still wasn't exactly sure what had gotten into him. Maybe it was because his parents hadn't been home for two months, maybe there was something in the food, maybe it just had to come out at that moment but one minute he had been eating his mashed potatoes and the next he was telling his entire family that he was gay.

So all in all it had been a pretty great dinner.

His entire time in high school was spent being gay in theory and not in practice. He had never had sex, never been kissed, never even held hands with another boy. He had kept himself distracted by developing this really weird crush on Jace that was just awkward for everyone involved while it lasted.

Then he went off to college.

His family immediately took to his roommate. Raphael was handsome, charming, deeply religious, spoke Spanish, and wanted to be on the pre-med track.

It was almost like he was the perfect first son and brother that they had never had.

But Raph was a good roommate. They had absolutely nothing in common but it worked for them. He never tried to make Alec feel inadequate in any way. When he heard about Alec's plans to major in art and creative writing, he didn't immediately launch into a 'you're going to end up homeless' tirade but instead asked him questions about his work, influences, and favorite artists. He never asked Alec what was wrong with him when he stumbled over his words, ended up making a fool out of himself more times than not, or struggled with making friends.

Raphael had no such problems. He had an aura about him that drew people in without having to try all that much, he was just naturally charismatic and knew how to deal with people. He was always getting invited to go to events and parties by people who wanted a variety of things from him from notes to a hookup- something that would never happen because Raph had no interest in sex but it didn't stop them trying.

He always invited Alec and he usually tagged along to club meetings and dinners and sometimes even the odd date or two. He tended to skip out on the parties, though. His week was so packed with both his and Raph's activities, the only way he wanted to spend his weekends was by doing his homework and sleeping.

And there was the fact that he had no idea how to act at a party.

But this weekend, after he had spent the entire week cooped up in their room working on his project for his drawing class. Raph had refused to take no for an answer so Alec put on a shirt without any holes in it and let himself be dragged.

Alec hated alcohol. He had never understood why people pretended to like something that actually tasted like cat piss but what he could appreciate was the effect it had on him. He still stumbled over his words and had no idea what he was doing half of the time but it helped ease his anxiety that came after he ultimately embarrassed himself.

So he stood in the corner, nursing his nth beer as people mingled and danced around him. Raphael was effortlessly flirting with some girl on the other side of the room and was making it look so easy.

It was in that corner at that random party that they met.

He was tall and imposing with hair such a light shade of blond it was nearly white and eyes so black Alec couldn't make out his pupils. He stalked around the room taking in everyone like they were his prey.

And he just so happened to stop on Alec.

The boy walked right up to him- taking up all of his space until Alec become overwhelmed by his heavy cologne, the hot breath against his face, and the hand resting just above his head. He had gone from never being looked at with interest to this in all of five seconds and he had no idea what to do.

"Hi." The boy said simply and smiled in a way that made Alec's heart do backflips in his chest.

Where did he put his hands? Where did he look? What did he say? Why hadn't any of Raphael's natural talent for talking to people worn off on him? This was a completely unfair situation that he was obviously going to mess up.

"H-hi."

The other boy leaned even closer. His lips were so close to Alec's ear that they brushed against his skin. Alec felt like he was going to burst into flames.

"Why are you over here all by yourself, hmm?"

He didn't really have a great answer. "I'm just trying to take this all in."

"I have an idea that might just help with that." A hand snaked down to touch his. "Why don't you dance with me?"

Alec felt like his brain was short circuiting. He couldn't even remember the last time he had danced with someone- probably Izzy's quinceanera and it definitely hadn't been with a cute boy that was giving him bedroom eyes and standing close enough to kiss. He would surely make a fool out of himself and he didn't have nearly enough alcohol in his system to not care about making a fool out of himself.

"I-um-I was g-going to get a refill first." Alec gestured to the empty bottle in his hand and felt his face fill with heat.

The blond boy didn't seem put off and instead gestured him forward. "Of course. I'll be here when you get back."

Alec (thankfully) managed to get to the other side of the room without looking back or tripping over his feet so he decided to take that as a small win.

He locked eyes with Raphael as he made his way to the drink table and his roommate immediately followed behind him.

"Everything going alright over there, amigo?" His roommate asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, nothing I can't handle." Alec tried to sound reassuring but he couldn't stop himself from scratching at the back of his neck out to nerves.

Raphael raised his eyebrows at that.

"Okay fine. I have no idea what I'm doing. _Help me_."

"Well first of all-" Raph started while reaching out to pour himself a drink. "Do you even know who that is?"

Alec thought for a moment before shaking his head.

Raph handed the cup off to him and started to pour another one. "Jonathan Morgenstern. He's a senior. Word is he goes through people faster than he can buy condoms."

"Um- that- that doesn't h-help at all Raph. Uh-What the hell am I supposed to do? How do I act? _Where do I put my hands?_" Alec didn't want to have a freak out in the middle of this party but he could feel the beginnings of one coming on.

"Just calm down. Take a breath." Raph put his hands on Alec's shoulders before he could disappear into his head. Alec looked into his friend's eyes, followed the instructions and tried to ground himself.

"Just dance with him." Raphael continued. "Be yourself. See how it goes. Don't let him pressure you into doing anything you don't want to. And if he tries- I'll be right over here."

He felt a bit of relief knowing that his roommate had his back but at the same time- be himself? Being himself hadn't really helped him before. But he nodded anyway, took a huge sip of his jungle juice and made his way back to Jonathan.

The blond smirked at him before grabbing his arm, pulling him closer and beginning to dance.

By the time Alec had finished his cup he had only stepped on Jonathan's feet twice which wasn't actually as terrible as he was expecting. But Jonathan didn't get mad about it- just continued to smile and laugh good naturedly the whole time. He was actually really nice and respectful too. He kept cracking jokes in Alec's ear and asked him if he was feeling comfortable with his hands on his waist, the thigh that worked its way between his legs, and the fiery kisses on his neck.

But that was as far as it went.

He wasn't sure what his answer would have been if the older boy had asked him back to his room but he wasn't given the chance because John didn't even hint at it.

After a little bit more than an hour they kind of just went their separate ways without any fanfare whatsoever.

Alec walked back to his room with Raphael feeling weirdly dissatisfied.

But of course, because the universe worked on a different set of rules on college campus'- after that first encounter, Alec began to see Jonathan everywhere- while he was walking across campus, while leaving class, going back to his room. One day, after he had spotted the blond on at least six other occasions while heading into the dining hall he looked up to see the person who was holding the door open for him was none other than Jonathon Morgenstern himself.

He smiled and it was even prettier in the daytime while Alec was completely sober.

"Hey. You're Alec right?"

Alec nodded dumbly.

"Any chance you would want to sit with me?"

Alec nodded again and attempted a smile that he hoped looked friendly and open.

While John led him to a table that they dropped their stuff at he said, "That's weird. I could have sworn you were able to speak the last time we interacted."

Alec felt his face fill with heat. "I am- I- I do. S-speak I mean. I just-" He wasn't even able to finish his sentence. He had never wished for the ground to open up and swallow him more than he had at that very moment.

John just laughed and assured him that he was fine.

Their meal went way better than Alec expected. Mostly because he didn't have to talk very much. John was all too happy to talk about himself and his frat and his major, pre-med like Raphael, and his sports teams because on top of all the other great and impressive things he did- he was a three-sport athlete. Sports had been the thing that had gotten Alec to open up a tiny bit more. He was a student-athlete himself and they spent another solid hour just discussing work out routines, different coaches at their school, the teams they followed, their favorite players, so on and so forth.

No one was more surprised than he was when he left the dining hall that day with John's number saved in his contacts.

Alec never knew how people would react to how ineloquent, how awkward, how quiet, and just how much of a mess in general he was but he had somehow managed to do something right that day.

They kind of just fell into dating after that. Alec wasn't really sure when they had crossed the line between friends that did things together and actually becoming boyfriends. He hadn't even known it had happened until Raphael had pointed it out three months into the whole affair. He had been a weird mixture of pleased and anxious when John confirmed that they were officially a couple but when his new _boyfriend _had kissed him afterward, Alec couldn't stop smiling for a few days.

John had been his first in every way. He was the first boy that had ever looked at him romantically. The first to hold his hand. The one to give him his first kiss. The one to take his virginity. The first man he ever truly loved (not counting the whole Jace thing).

He was the first boy that had ever looked at him romantically. The first to hold his hand. The one to give him his first kiss. The one to take his virginity. The first man he ever truly loved (not counting the whole Jace thing).

But after his virginity was gone things began to change between them. It had always been hard to see each other with their busy course loads and extracurriculars but in the beginning, they had always made time for each other.

John's time seemed to dry up until it felt like the only time they saw each other was at parties, the sex that happened after, and the odd time during the week when they would run into each other on their way to class or grabbing a meal. John would kiss him and walk with him to where he was going or sit with him at the dining hall.

But over time those actions became cold. The kisses became scarce, the smiles didn't reach his eyes, after sex he would barely even stay long enough to clean off before leaving again.

He became distant and flat out uncaring.

John was the first man to cheat on him over and over and over again.

He became the first man to call him worthless- and the only person who had ever made him feel it wholeheartedly all the way down to his bones.

He was the first person that had ever made him ever feel small and helpless- martial arts training be damned.

But Alec stayed through all of it because John was his first. Because no one would ever look at him, no one would ever touch him, or love him the way John did.

Then John graduated.

And everything that he had said proved to be true because once again, no one looked at him, no one tried to touch him, or hook up with him, or date him. John truly was the only person that would ever be interested in him so when he came back to visit, of course, Alec invited him into his bed with open arms. Of course, he continued to hold onto his 'love' even when only half of his texts and phone calls went answered and John didn't even attempt to come up with any excuses as to why.

This went on until his second semester of Junior year when he went to Spain and finally had a chance to think about what he was letting happen. He ended up officially breaking it off between them something like 2 am Madrid time and then spent the rest of his trip alternating between feelings of relief and extreme misery. He only narrowly avoided calling John again and begging him to take him back by Raphael confiscating his phone and keeping it whenever Alec didn't have to call his family.

Thankfully, Alec hadn't seen or heard from Jonathon in years.

Alec got it.

John had hurt him in ways he didn't even want to acknowledge. He had taken the tiny bit of self-confidence Alec had and smothered it. He completely warped Alec's views on relationships and love and sex. He was still so goddamn scared to take that next step because John had been nice and funny and caring too up until they had gone to bed together and changed their whole dynamic forever.

Alec had wanted to believe that Magnus was better than him. That the same things he had fallen prey to couldn't have possibly happened to someone as confident and magnificent and otherworldly as Magnus.

But he had been wrong.

Magnus was just like him. Magnus had done the same thing Alec had done all those years ago because even though their ex's had hurt them, neither of them were able to fully let go.

Alec gets it.

He gets it so much that it hurts.

And he supposes in an alternative universe the fact that he understands would cancel out the hurt that wants to rip its way through his chest.

But this isn't an alternative universe.

"Alec- say something. Please."

They were in his apartment.

Magnus had just told him everything.

Alec had gone quiet.

He wasn't exactly sure how long it had been since the last word that had left Magnus' mouth and right now.

What was the right response? How did Magnus want him to reply? He wasn't even sure if he was angry or betrayed or anything. He kind of just felt- weirdly empty and like curling up into a ball in the corner and never leaving again. Because really- what else had he been expecting?

Some part of him knew that it was because Camille was familiar- because she had been such a crucial part of Magnus' life and he just kept falling prey to her over and over again. But another part- a bigger part couldn't help but wonder if it was just him. That he was too boring and too awkward and too much of himself to actually keep someone like Magnus interested and the other man just didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"I'm sorry, I just-" And of course that is when the tears came.

Because what was wrong with him? Why wasn't he enough? Why were people never okay with just him and always ended up looking somewhere else?

He wanted to be fine with this. Had forced himself to like living in Jace's shadow every time someone favored his younger brother over him. He reassured himself that he was completely okay with people constantly comparing him to Raphael only to realize he didn't measure up. He had told himself that it was fine when Jonathan had needed more than just Alec to keep him satisfied. He had spent so much goddamn time acting fine that he was nearly convinced that he was.

He had spent so much goddamn time acting fine that he was nearly convinced that he was.

But Magnus was supposed to be different. Magnus was the one who complimented him on his drawings and his stories and wrote music pieces about him and told him how much he loved him and cared for him. Magnus was the one that sat with him in complete silence and didn't make him feel like he had to fill it up. Magnus was the one that made him think that he could actually have a future that was happy and bright. Magnus was so different from every single person he had met in his entire life.

So, of course, it would be Magnus to remind him of all the hurt that lived inside of him because that was the way the fucking universe worked.

He didn't realize that he was sobbing until he felt Magnus' hand come around his shoulders.

He felt ridiculous. It wasn't even like Magnus was breaking up with him or telling him that he was moving halfway around the world. All of the other stuff, all the other people were was in the past and he should be able to let it all go. He needed to in order to focus on what was happening right now.

"I'm sorry Alec," Magnus said while stroking his hair. "I'm so so sorry." Because there was no way that Magnus could read his mind and be able to know that Alec wasn't just crying about this. That these tears were long overdue and had to come out eventually. "I wish I could do more than just apologize to you. I would do anything if it meant you didn't have to feel this way anymore. Just tell me what you want from me and I'll do it."

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus and hunched over so far his head was almost in the other man's lap.

He took a huge breath. The tears had stopped but he still felt horrible. Perhaps he would tell Magnus about the floodgate of emotion that had been released one day but he didn't think he could do it right now without going into hysterics.

"Just-just don't do it again." That was the only thing he could get out. Like Jonathan had said: he was weak.

And besides, Magnus had hurt him but who hadn't?

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**A/N: Comments? Questions? Concerns about Alec? Feel free to PM them to me or leave them in a comment. **

**A quick note about this chapter- I know that this might seem like a lot of emotional ****diarrhea but I think Alec definitely has a lot of unprocessed emotions that he hasn't really wanted to deal with but now that there is yet another thing**** thrown at him, he kind of has to. He doesn't really know how to do it, or how to talk about it but maybe he'll finally get to try.**

**I just have a lot of feelings about Alec, okay? I could probably write a whole essay on him but I won't subject you to that right now. **

**Until next time! **

**Alexandermylove**


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